00:00:02 Speaker 1: Welcome to the Wired to Hunt podcast, your home for deer hunting news, stories and strategies, and now your host, Mark Kenyon. Welcome to the Wired to Hunt podcast. I'm your host Mark Kenyan. In this episode number three nine and today in the show, we are tackling just about the most depressing topic in the deer hunting world, but one that we all will likely face at one point or another, and that's missing a buck and figuring out what to do next. That's what happened to me last week. Actually, real quick, before we start today's episode, I gotta give you a quick heads up. Season two of the Back forty, the show I host that season, has launched. It is now up on the meat Eater YouTube channel, and the second episode of season two just dropped a few days ago, so you gotta head on over to the meat Eater YouTube channel and go give it a watch. The first episode showcases some of the work we did earlier this spring. Our progress are bees check in with Steve, Rinella and UH and a look at how everything has been coming together into the early summer. Episode two, I'm joined by Doug Durren and dan Ja Joe, a guy who you're gonna hear from here on today's podcast. Soon we're planting trees, planting food plots, and making some real serious progress this summer on the property, which led to a lot of good things for us this year. Check it on out. It's at the Media to YouTube channel. I'm very proud of it. I hope you guys enjoy it. Please give it a watch, give us a thumbs up, give us a comment. It would be in the world. And now today's podcast. All right, welcome to the Wired un podcast, brought to you by on Next. Today, we're talking about something that none of us really want to have to talk about, but we do. It gets swept under the rugs sometimes in the hunting world, and if you're out there as a hunter and you're having experiences like this, you might feel like, oh, I'm the only guy in the world who's ever missed a deer, or you're gonna feel really bad about yourself because this thing happened, and you feel like you're on an island. And when you watch TV shows, everyone seems to be perfect, and they seem to be killing big bucks left and right, and they do it so well, and you might be thinking, man, why can't I do that. Well, I'm here to tell you that we've all been there. It happens, and it happens to those guys that look really guys and girls that look really good on TV two. They might not show it, but it's happening. And that's why I want to talk about missing a deer and what do you do next? Because I missed a deer here just recently. I've had kind of a devastating week. Uh So I want to tell that story. I want to talk about what's happened. And also I'm here with another guy who missed a deer just recently and he's processing and working through all that right now, and so we want to talk about that experience too. Were gonna work through the stories. We're gonna work through what we think we did right, what we maybe did wrong, what we can learn from it, different ideas for how all of us can kind of take that next step after missing a deer and come out the other side better and more prepared for the next shot. So with me, I got four and a half people to my left. The half person just gave me the eye to my left. You know, Dan, I'm gonna get this wrong. I don't know how to pronounce your last name properly. Welcome, Welcome to my world. To my left is Dane Asdo Okay, that's what I thought. Danasavedo one the hunt on the back forty So congratulations, thank you, thank you for having me here. Um, it's been maybe different than you expected because number one, because of because of that virus is going all over the country in the world these days, Steve could not come here for the hunt. Um, so we had to have some change of plans there. I know you're gonna get a makeup because of that, but we we still want to try to show you a good time here without Steve. So Dana Gledger here, has been a lot of fun to have you on the property. No, it's been great. I feel like I've had my own little hunting TV show. There's been by myself and some of them, so it's been awesome. So Dane's to my left. To his left is Dan jo Jo Dan, welcome back to the podcast. Thanks for having me on again. Yeah, and so for folks that are longtime listeners, Dan was the new hunter that joined us on a podcast last fall after one of Q d Amy's Field to Fork mentors hunts, and he went out on one of his first hunts with with a friend of ours, Jason Meekoff and UM, and then we decided that this year we're gonna put you to work on the back forty and then bring you out for another hunt. And then to his left is half person Charlie. Charlie doesn't have a microphone. UM, but if you recall the podcast last week with Tony Peterson, Justin and Charlie. UM, if you're ever wondering what Charlie's thinking, it's probably something related to staring off into the stars or junk food UFO UFOs yesterday for quite a quite a lengthy time. So, so Charlie is here and listening. If he's got something really important to say, he's gonna grab a headset. If not, he's just gonna give us the look. And then we got Justin Camerman extraordinaire. He's been a rock star out here for the last ten twelve days whatever. It's been filming, me filming Dan Um getting a lot of good stuff on film. So that's our crew, and UM, let's let's talk a little bit. Let's start with the back forty. How about that? UM, I want to talk a little about what's been going on here, what's happened, what led you to what happened last night? And then um, as we're kind of going through this, we're talking through some things. Dane, jump in, Justin jump in whoever? Um, But we are here for two hunts, right. We wanted to get Dane a shot at a buck out here on the property. You want the hunt. I want to show you a good time. And then also Dan, as I mentioned, is back out here trying to get a shot at the first year ever. Um, before we get into last night, Dan, can you kind of give us an update on how you're hunting experiences have progressed since last fall. So last fall we had talked and you dabbled a little bit by yourself. You did a hunt with a mentor one time. Um in between then and you know, pret prior to this trip, walking through what you've done, what your experience has been, trying to learn to hunt and figure this out on your own. Still. Yeah, so last year, like you said, went out with Jason Meekoff from at that Field of four program got me going and then I started getting out there on my own just on public land. Right, Um, tried to dabble a little bit, just getting comfortable in the woods, getting comfortable in certain situations where I might be able to find some deer, maybe you get a shot off. You know. I kept practicing my bow, and that's what I really wanted to do, was try to get up a deer with my bow. Um. You know, had a few encounters, but nothing really really you know, legitimate. Uh, just kind of was really getting the feel of it. It wasn't until this season where I kind of started really cranking up, cranking up my efforts. UM. I started doing a lot of research over the summer, you know on x on, you know, on my home computer, of just figuring out places to go scouting a little bit in the summer. So I've pinpointed a few spots that I wanted to go hunt. UM, got my gear situation figured out. I ended up deciding that I was gonna hunt via a saddle. Uh. So I got comfortable with that. UM. So this season has been like a huge, huge step in my game. UM, just trying to figure out the whole thing and trying to you know, make things happen and getting getting a deer. So it's been fun. I've had a lot of you know, frustrations and good learning experiences uh this season. But uh yeah, it's been good. Any frustrations that stand out, well, uh big one. Big one has been just just learning things on my own. UM. Obviously, like we were talking about, like getting out there and seeing like a certain sign and trying to interpret that sign. What what that's really telling me? Um, you know, trying to figure out if this is a good spot to set up that versus that spot. UM. Dealing with hunting pressure. UM, that's been a big one because most of my hunts have been on public land, right Like I'll find a spot on on X and and think it's money just to freaking hike in there, and there's there's a tree stands set up right where I thought I would i'd be hunting. So so that's been some frustrations. UM. I don't know how much you want me to get into this, but I last week on a hunt, my last time before I came out here, I actually took a shot at a deer um and messed. So that's been that's been a frustration of mine, and you know, getting around that, trying to learn from it, trying to grow from it. Taking these experiences is and trying to trying to just pick out certain things and figure out how I would do it differently next time. Um has been has been good. Frustrating but good, but you know it's been fun. So so walk me through that that Archer encounter. What happened there? Oh yeah? Yeah? So, uh, I was out on a Wednesday. I had work off for Veteran Renterans Day, so I woke up at three a m. Drove out too. He's telling us Justin and I were sitting in the blind together and what he's doing, and I just I listened to him like he's on the right for Yeah, thanks guys, actually too deep at this point. There's some of the details he gave us. There's no turning back. So he's doomed his girlfriends. His girlfriends, you guys have ruined me. Man, Like you know, I feel bad for her, but it's it's over now. He's like, hey, man, I bought a noz In generator and running my clothes. They're like, oh buddy, yeah, speaking my life that he said the word maps and I'm like, yea, welcome, So sorry you woke up at three am? Yeah, woke up at three am. Drove out to a public land spot that I've been hunting, set up, didn't see anything in the morning, and you know, just was getting frustrated because my whole season has been like fired up going to set up at this spot and then not seeing anything. So I've had so few encounters this season that it's been it's been challenging. So I just decided, you know, you know whatever, I'm just gonna go to a completely different spot for the afternoon hunt, hike around trying to find some good sign, and you know, see what happens, right, So I did exactly that. I found another section. UM, a lot of guys were out, so I just wanted to get away from the guys. Found a little spot, you know, probably three quarters of a mile into the public land. UM, a lot of good sign. I basically set up on this like deer highway. What it what it seemed like. UM set up on the ground because I didn't really feel comfortable getting up in the saddle. And UM, probably like an hour into the hunt, I saw I saw some movement off to my right. UM looked like there was two two dough kind of passing through and then UM, I was gonna wait for them to kind of come my way and then maybe set up on a spot, but they just never did. And then I always, you know, you're always saying like you gotta find the spot within the spot, right, So I was like, you know, what, should I move over there? Should I not? What do I do? Um? So it was getting like last last hour of light, probably like five minutes to last shooting light, and I said, you know, screw it, I'm gonna walk over there and just see if I can set up on this spot. Maybe something will come cruising by. So I did that. On my way over there, I bumped those two dough They ended up sticking around. I bumped them. I said, whatever, you know, hunts over at this point, but I didn't want to. I didn't want to leave because I didn't want to screw up anybody else's hunt on my way out. So I just kind of set up on the ground and sure enough they came. They came back, and um, they came back and they were meandering around me. One got to about thirty yards behind me. She was directly down winding me, just sniffing at me, stomping her feet whatever, and I just knew I was like busted right, but she was kind of quartering away from me, and she wasn't running off, but she was kind of looking back, and I just said, I'm gonna try to just you know, make something happen. Uh, drew back. Was it a shot I should have taken? I don't know, probably not a little further out of my comfort zone in terms of my range, but she was probably thirty to thirty five yards let one rip, and I just hammered the trigger right and I saw that, I saw the aero fly right. I knew I missed it, and at that point I was like whatever, you know it was It was cool just to get a shot off at a deer. It was cool going from like, Okay, I'm set up here not seeing anything. I'm gonna be reposition and maybe get myself an opportunity. And then I did get an opportunity, which was awesome, Uh, but just didn't make it happen. And um, I don't know. That was kind of the hunt. So the very first time I ever drew back on a deer, I was know, well, I hunted for quite a few years before I did. I don't know, seventeen something that maybe seen and it was a four point buck that came walking in along the ridge and I was in the ground blind down a little bottom and then there's this main trail that came down the side of this ridge, and I remember I remember seeing this movement crusting the ridge and then antlers, and I thought, oh my god, there's a buck and it's getting closer, and it's getting closer. And then I don't remember anything, and then there was an arrow sticking in a tree. I essentially blacked out once that buck came in. I mean, my body went into autopilot. I wasn't thinking, I had no control over myself. It just was like there was a buck. I drew back and all the arrow was flying and what happened? Then afterwards, I'm sitting there thinking, how did they get to this point? Did that? Did anything like that happen with you? It was like a moment did you feel like you were in control? Were you there mentally or was it like, holy crap, I was shooting a deer and then just happened. Because because I'm trying, what I'm trying to say, is it it is normal to feel that, especially early on. You describe like your mindset and what was going through your head. Yeah, I was there mentally, I didn't black out by any means, um, but the deer, the doe knew like what she was looking at. Right, So I was, I was worried about getting busted, and and I was I wanted it so bad, right, you know, I wanted that shot. I wanted it to go my way, And the nerves started to hit me, and I was kind of shaken. Um, I was shaken to the point where like when I did draw my bow back, all the practice and all the repetition that I had over the summer in season, repetition with my bow kind of just like went out the window, right, Like my process drawn back, getting my anchor points ready, you know, feeling my kisser button kind of just like out the window at that point. So so that's after after I took the shot, I realized, like I didn't go through any of the things that I normally do practicing with my target. You know. Um, that coupled with the nerves, I think, just just kind of ruined, ruined my opportunity, hammered the shot, like I said, and I just wasn't it wasn't it wasn't a good shot. Does that sound familiar? To any of you guys justin Dane, have you ever been in that situation? Yeah, for sure, that's what that's what's you know, as time goes on and then where you put yourself in those scenarios, like then you start to kind of reel it back in. But yeah, there's definitely like a bit of a blackout early on for sure. Dane. You're you've just gotten a bow hunting the last couple of years, right, Yeah, I've I picked up a bow two years ago, and uh, I mean I have yet to let a narrow go on an animal. And I probably have to deal with that same thing too, Like I have the checklist I do at home night shoot, and it's you know, it's don't grip too tight and your point, don't punch all that stuff in my head when I'm practicing. But I've yet to have to, like I don't put it in game form. And I can tell you, having been bow hunting for I don't know twenty years or something like that, um and killed a lot of deer with a bow, I still have had moments where that stuff flies out the window to a degree, Like it's a constant battle, constantly trying to keep your composure, stay in control of the process. I mean, if anyone, anyone who's listened to the podcast for a long period time knows that, you know, several years ago I had to completely reconstruct how I shoot to try to reclaim control. And it's been significantly improved the past few years. But I still make mistakes too. So this is something that everybody listening, I think can relate to in one way or another. And the only ways that I've found to to to get that control back, and the only way I've heard consistently from other people, is to do two things. One is to constantly practice that situation and and try to make it as automatic the being in the process, trying to make that as automatic as possible, so that checklist and all the steps you need to take becomes drilled into you. So there's no way your body doesn't do anything except for nose on the nose on the string anchor point. You know, don't talk about all this stuff. So that's so automatic that even if your brain does shut down, your body does all the right things. And then number two, and most importantly, it's just doing it. It's just being in that moment and handling that situation and shooting under pressure. You can replicate a little bit by shooting with friends or shooting in competition, finding some way to add some some degree of pressure to the shot and and that in a way we'll replicate, you know, the pressure of a deer in front of you, but nothing quite does it like an actual hand one in front of you and having to do that. Um, justin you've missed some deer probably, right, How do you talk me through some situations you've been through? Is there anyone that stands out? Yeah? I mean do you want mrs or do you want like bad shots? You could say, whatever story you think better, best showcases? Uh, something you can learn from, something you can identify a problem with. Yeah. I think the the biggest thing is like slowing down. It's like as as the moment ramps up, you have to slow it down. And that's you know, I think time practicing and the repetition. You just have to create muscle memory and overcome. Like I mean, we were talking yesterday about this thing that happens to you when a deer comes in and you know, either you shoot or you don't shoot, but your body goes into this like different mode and you you know, I don't know exactly how you control it. You just kind of had to ride with a ride. You know, you're along for the ride, and um but yeah, creating that like I, you know, I have a deer that still kind of haunts me and it's hanging in my friend's house. Um. I. It was one of my first all day sits and it was like three o'clock in the afternoon and I was like, you know, I guess it's starting to lose focus. You know, it's a long day and it all can happen so quickly. I think that's one thing is like you don't always have the luxury of seeing like Okay, it's at three hundred yards. Now, it's at two hundred yards. Now, it's you know, it's like, oh crap, there is a dough with a block behind it, and um yeah. It's like I don't know how you really reel in that because you need you feel like, oh I gotta make it happen. I gotta make it happen. But yeah, I mean, like even you like the other day watching you shoot that deer. You know, I've I've heard you talk about your process and whatnot, and I'm like, yeah, whatever, like yeah, Mark, um. So yeah, when I was in the tree with Mark, I've heard him talk about his process and these things that he goes through. And I'm on the deer filming and like I know that he has drawn back, and I'm like, why is he not shooting? And then like looking back at the footage and like seeing what was going on, it's like you somehow you have like kind of honed in on like that process and we're able to slow down. And I kept thinking when I would shoot, I would have shot before you, but like I mean, and you you killed the deer. Um, And yeah, so that that buck came in behind the dough is shoes at thirty yards. They were at thirty yards, and you know, I felt like I had a little time and no I punched the trigger. It's like it's one of those things like I think we all work at and um, you know, I've even I feel confident with my release, but I want to go further, Like I can kill deer with my current set up, but I'd love to go further because taking out any chances of like, uh, something that could go wrong, you know. So I've toyed with going to a back tension release. But yeah, it's never easy. And I think you bring up a good point, which is anyone out there right now, anyone listening, not even the very best, most ice school killer out there, is always going to be perfect. We all are going to have those moments where it doesn't go just right. Even if you do everything right, there's still a wild animal, and there's there's these variables that are out of your control too. So what I've always thought is that just be working to get better, always getting better every single year in the off season. Thing, Okay, I did pretty good last year, maybe I didn't do so good last year. What things can I identify that I can work on? What can I do differently? How can I do something to to take that next step or two or three steps that next year I'm a little bit better than it was last year. And you brought up the fact that you felt like you had to take the shot like it was I canna tell you a vantage opportunity and you said the same thing, damn. And there's there's like three types of misses I think that that happened. There's maybe there's probably a lot more of that, but I can think of like three categories. There's one category where someone's out there shooting and they just have not practiced enough. They just they can't shoot well. And that one's just kind of on you. Everyone's going to make sure that they're practicing, that they're competent, etcetera. But then there's two other kinds of misses that tend to happen for people that are competent with their equipment and with the process, but still happen. And one of those is, um, just like target panic buck fever. You just like your nerves got ahold of you and you, you know, just you lost track of your process. And the third one is what I think you described justin, which is forcing a shot situation where you feel like I gotta take the shot. We worked so hard for this stuff all year, right. We put in a lot of time, a lot of time in season, a lot of team time offseason, put an energy, We sacrifice, we take vacation days, or we don't spend time with our families or friends, or we wake up at three am, whatever it is, and all that builds up, builds up, builds up, and you've got this like, wait, you're this thing in your chest that feels like I'm supposed to get this thing done. It's finally here. Oh my gotta have to I gotta do it right now. And bam, you force something that you shouldn't have. And let me tell you what I can relate to that. I had a situation I've had. I hate that. I can name several situations like this. But there's a buck that a lot of you guys heard me talk about back in two thousand and fourteen, the biggest buck I've ever been able to hunt at that time, great big buck down Ohio, and I've been hunting him for two years and finally it's like October sixteenth. Actually, I made like a kind of impromptu move, drove four and a half hours down to this property because I thought he'd be moving with this weather front came through and took a diving close to his bedding area. And the second day I made a move in there and bam, out of know where he's there. I turned around, he's right there, yards or something like that. But walking quickly across this opening, and I remember thinking this exact same thing you to justin. I said, I have to get the shot. He's about to walk out of my life and and I spun around and I'm trying to get the camera on him, and I'm trying to draw back, and he's about to walk behind the bushes, and I gotta shoot now, and I just did it, and I didn't slow down, I didn't focus on my process. I forced the shot, hit back and low, and didn't find him for a couple of months, didn't find him till the winter. And that's one that has q with man for a long time. So the question when that kind of thing happens is is what do you do? The question after any of these is what do you do next? How do you handle that? What do you learn from it? So coming out of that one, it was trying to find ways to like get my mind back to process. So something coming out of that hunt I remember was trying to develop a mantra of sorts. This is a common thing A lot of people talk about a way to use verbal cues to pull you back into control. So, you know, at that point, I'm remember what I was saying back then. I think it was, um, I honestly can't think of what it was, but it's some kind of verbal thing. It was something just like slow it down and slow it down and slow it down. Just something that can break you out of the trance, because there's this kind of shot trance that we get into when he's coming in and he's like, Oh, I gotta go. If you can somehow snap it, I've found if you can break yourself out of it's kind of like there's this invisible barrier. You know those movies, and they show like a force field around something, and it's a force field you can kind of push up against, like a bubble. But if you can finally burst through that bubble and explodes, you can get through. When you are trying to get a shot at a deer with a gun or a bow, you're stuck in this crazy bubble of intensity and this moments insane and you're you're in this blackout bubble. If you can somehow find something they can push you through and pop it all of a sudden, sanity can take control again. The mantra is one way to do that. I've worked on several other things have helped me, but usually it's some kind of verbal cue, a checklist, something that can snap you. If you can get two step one and actually think about in your head, it's a whole hell of a lot easier to get to step two. And if you can literally say the words okay, splash it out, get on the target, okay, watch to keep it okay, which is so for me like my process right now, drawback. It's splashed on her. I took this from Brian Call and I just used it. Um. So let's just get the pin on the on the deer where you want it and then watch it keep it. So I'm just watching the pin and letting the pin flop. I'm just gonna watch, watch, watch, and then it's pull pull, pull, pull, and so all at that point once I'm on, I'm watching it for a couple of seconds and then I'm just gonna slowly pull pull, pull until that sucker goes off and I use the back tension released now so that I kind of lose a little bit of control and that I can't determine when the trigger gets punched. All I can do is pull, and it's just like a slow squeeze back with the shoulder and then it goes And that's helped me a lot. I'm not saying I'm perfect, Let's helped me a lot. Um. That's that's one way to think about some of these things. I guess let's get to then, Dan, what happened on this hunt. So we're gonna keep working through a number of different examples here and talking about what we can do from those. So Dan, you you had that archery encounter and then you're gonna come out here and hunt with us. Um, what were your thoughts coming to this on? Were you excited? Were you nervous? Did you think I'm gonna kill a deer? Did you think this is did you want to do this? Were you feeling pressured to do this? Where's your head? So? I didn't feel pressured to do this at all? I I was. I was really excited. Like you guys had me out over the summer. I put some work into the property and I was fired up to to come out and hunt with you guys, right. So I was happy to be here and I was ready to go. I did you know, like my rifle hunting experience has been limited, right, So that that aspect was kind of you know, I was a little unsure about it, but you know, uh, you know, I felt pretty confident that you guys would coach me through it and we would end up getting getting into something. Um. So I was pretty was pretty excited, pretty kind of nervous, but yeah, I felt good. Yea uh. And so we started the trip Dan and Dan came with my place. We did some shooting. Everyone was shooting really good. We felt good about stuff. Um, and then we had out to hunt. First day we had a lousy weather. It was like monsoon, crazy wind Michigan. Dan was that probably wasn't what you were expecting and invest thing. I didn't know what to expect. I think i'd asked you, I don't know a week or two before I came out, It's like, what should I plan for for weather? And you told me, well, it's been seventy five here, but it could get down to the twenties. So it was kind of a wide range. I didn't know what I was coming into and what to expect when I did get here, and she she gave her She gave us Hell's Kansas and Michigan. Yeah, it was some serious blowing winds. I think it's like twenty five to thirty sustained type winds with gusts up to sixty at one point there soon. Um, there were a couple of times when the gusts hit the tower blends, and I was like, good, about to get some good footage of us falling over. But everything held up darn well and the wallton never nothing pulled on the wall to solid construction. Whoever started up the impressed, Yes, it must have been us that did a good job. Um, and the tower blinds withstood it all. I was pleasantly surprised with all that. Um. But day one was pretty rough. We saw what the first morning we saw Dan and I work three do three doughs? Yeah, I think so. I think we had the one that busted us. And did we see a few more summer? I feel like we saw three in the morning and three in the evening I remember, right. I can't remember where those three were, remember the one that came down by itself, But we were the other two well, in the evening you're talking about the evening. In the morning, I can't remember. I saw nothing but sideways rain. You saw hard blind And then we played a lot of UK in the middle of the day, which was fun. Found out the dans of cheating food played a cheating is not the right way to describe my that is fair game. Yeah, he probably wouldn't have been here if you don't know about his character exactly. We would have redacted that invitation real quick if I played cards to the beforehand. Yeah, I guess so. Um. We snuck out at the end of the evening was crazy windy. We thought, you know, let's just sneak out in the ground and see if we can spot something and maybe get lucky. We ended up seeing three doughs, which you know, could have been a buck behind him. You never know. It could have worked out, but it didn't. It was worth a shot. And uh, next morning we switched locations. We ended up seeing three doughs or handful of dos. No five doughs, so five there's the first two and then another group of three and Dane, would you see three dos? So we've been seeing kind of a handful of dose every sin it's kind of been the story, but no bucks until last night. Um. And this is a relatively short hunt, three day hunt with bad weather in the first day. We're on night of number two, so we're approaching two thirds of the way done. Dan, how are you feeling going into the hunt? Last night we set up back near the honey hole. Uh, the same spot that my dad was hunting. One of the nights when he came out here, um close to where I killed my buck a week ago. Um, do you feel good? Did you feel? Yeah? I felt really good going into the evening hunt last night. The weather was kind of calming down, the wind was going to die down in the evening, right kind of near last shooting light. So I think I told you earlier in the day. I think like tonight's tonight's I have a good feeling about tonight. So yeah, I was really excited. Yeah, I felt really good too. Like you said that, we've been having a crazy wind and bad weather, and and yesterday evening was the first day it was really gonna first time I was gonna it was gonna die down. It was real cold, bluebird skies. It just seemed like deer should be moving. And sure enough we got to the last hour or so, last forty five minutes and bam, first year we see behind us, justin extraly spot a first nice nice eye. Justin, Um, there's a buck standing right behind us. First buck was seen of the hunt. And justin just as there's a buck right behind us. And then I slipped my head around and look out the side window, and I see right away it's like a nice tight tall buck. Um, and he's he's staring right at us. Dan, what I was going? Walk me through your thoughts at this point. So we say there's a buck, I spin around and and you didn't move. You were just kind of sitting there one like, Dann, you should be getting ready now breathing started. So Dan walked me through was going through your head when when you heard there's a buck, and then the process began. And I'll let you kind of tell the story from here if you want, and maybe we'll jump in, but you walk up there, I'll do my best to try to give you guys a feel for what happened. So so Justin says there's a buck behind us, first thought in my mind is like you're kidding. And then but it's like all right, here we go like um, so like my next thought was like, all right, I want to get eyes on it to just just see where it's at, see what I have to do next. Um. Where the buck was at was wasn't really where we were anticipating anything to really come by, right, Like we were kind of checking the back, but we weren't really like focused on that being a scenario where we would take a shot. Like we were. We were looking out of the front window. I was looking out of the side. You were looking out of the side, but the back window was kind of like our least expected opportunity. Um. So we kind of had to do some like shuffling around, right. Um so Justin had to get a camera in position. I had to get like my shooting stick over to where I you know, I thought I could get comfortable and get the gun set up and um get in position to take a shot. Uh So at that point, the buck was just kind of staring at us, right, it was down when he knew something was up, but apparently didn't know enough because he didn't move. He just stood there's kind of like nose up looking staring. But but for a long time, for a minute or two, I don't know, for quite a while. Right, I'd ranged him as soon saw I'd spun, got my head out there and ranged him. Was just over a hundred yards. Um. And then yeah, you you you started getting in position, knelt down, get your shooting stick up. Yeah, and uh yeah, you were kind of you were doing mark. You were doing a good job with like you know, take your time. Um, you know, get comfortable, and then you know he's gonna start walking away, and right then, you know, I'll try to make a big noise to stop him. And then's where that's when we'll have try to you know, have an opportunity to get a shot. And uh so I get set up. I'm I'm shaking, man. You know, I'm getting nervous, I'm getting the buck fever coming coming down. I'm breathing heavy. But I'm just trying to stay in control as best as possible. Right. Um, I had a little awkward thing going out with my shooting stick where I had to prop it up against my leg get the gun up, but I had the book in my view, had him in the crosshairs, and as he started to walk away, he kind of turned away from us. Um took a few steps and then looked back and he was quartering away from us. Perfect like perfect opportunity, right like perfect case scenario to get a shot. Mark. You didn't really have to give him a big noise or anything. But I just kind of like kept saying, don't rush the shot, don't rush the shot, like just like we practice, just easy squeeze and Um, for what it was worth, it was a pretty hard quarter. So yeah, I mean he he wasn't you know, he was definitely less broadside than you would hope. But your angle makes it look worse than it was from my angle, looked not. I mean it was a good job. Yeah, yeah, but I mean it was definitely the best that he had given a second point, when I saw him in the scupe, I said, this is this is fantastic, um, And I put the cross hairs where where they needed to be. Obviously I had some I had some shake in me, you know, Um. And then uh, I let it ripped right like I let it rip, and I kept looking through the scope. He he started to trot off, but he didn't like, you know, go busting through sprinting away like he spooped. He kind of trotted off, went into the fence rowe kind of like that wooded area. UM looked back, was flicking his tail, head, his head, his leg up. And my first thought after I took the shot was like, like what happened? Like did I did I hit him? Why didn't he drop? Right? Like That's what I was looking for. I was like, why didn't he drop? Like he didn't drop? It must have missed, Um, so so then I think it was you guys were like, you hit him, like I think that was a good shot. And then he looked like he either turned down like a little ridge or a little hill, and I think you guys said like, we think he went down he tipped over. And I said really like like I'm thinking in my head like I don't I don't know, like you know, I don't know if I missed him. I don't know if I hit him and it wasn't a good shot. I started to get a little worried, and I remember looking through the binoculars watching it all happen, and at the hit, I couldn't see impact, but the way he started running off sort of I immediately thought that's a good hit, because the tail tucked almost immediately and he almost look a little hunched over. And then when he got to the edge of the woods, he stopped, and that's when it looked like he was a little hunched and the tail started flicking. And the first thing I thought when I saw that was okay, hitting the back hit back a little bit, because whenever you see a deer that hunches up and the tail was kind of like that, that seems like a paunch it of some kind, but with cording away angle. I thought, okay, entry a little bit back, which explains why I reacted that way. Exit right through the lungs dead deer. And so so he stops for a couple of seconds like that, just inside the tree, so you can just kind of see his figure like that, and then he tail keeps flicking step step step, and then it really looks like it really looks dropped. I don't I can't explain what we were seeing, but it really looked like that. So that's why myself of the binoculars and then we all justin I both thought, man, we think that's a There is nothing that he did indicated he wasn't hit. I mean yeah, just like you explained, it's like Dan, and now I feel like, you know, a goon because like I just totally myself misinterpreted it. You know, do you feel complicit? Now? I feel like Dan's not going to trust me. I don't know about that. Just so yeah, um, but man, we were stoked, and uh, Dan was like sitting there. I'm like, dude, who you gotta stare at? Like texting people get excited about this when we when we heard the shot over in our blind it was immediate. Me and Charlie looked at each other and we were stoked. We heard the shots like that was Dan, that's a deer, Like it's down. I pulled out my phone immediately and just was waiting for a text message, just waiting for something. So we were filing the excitement too over in our blind forehead. We're so excited. Uh. And and you know that's that's those moments or what you live for as a hunter, like that ultimate euphoria dandis shots first deer. We're so excited for you and and and you were the one being cautious, which was smart. Me and Justin were like little stupid kids. And uh, you know, a long story short, we can kind of fast forward a little bit. We decided to, you know, give it a little time, go back, get the get the UTV, get the rest of the crew. Um, just make sure everything was cool. And then we go back out there and look. And and when we went back out there to look, couldn't find blood, couldn't find couldn't find hair, couldn't find anything. Um, search and search and search, no sign. And then we thought, well, let's just peek over to where we saw him go down, quote unquote, he should be right there, go over there. Nothing nothing, no blood, no blood. We find one speck of red that we think is blood. That's it. We spent quite a deal, quite a good amount of time from there continuing to look went in a little ways. At this point, after finding nothing between the site impact and where we thought that dear had gone down and in so little sign, I started getting worried. But I have a friend with a tracking dog who, um, who I know is really good and has helped a lot of people in this situation. So once we got to that point where it's like, okay, we do not have good blood. We've searched decent ways in here without any kind of positive sign um. What he's always telling me. He's like, don't screw it up for me, if you're not feeling good about it, don't go too far and ruin it for the dog. Let the dog do the work. So we eventually decided to pull back, wait for the dog, and and not push our luck. So we didn't have my friend come out with his dog. We continue to look more around the side of impact, trying to find something, continue to look inside the woods, trying to find something. My buddy comes out with this dog. He goes tracking the dogs on a track, but she doesn't follow blood. She follows like an interdigital glands. And so even there was no blood, she was tracking something. But he kept going and going and going, and justin year with him for a while. So you saw this. But to make it, uh, to kind of take hours of time and compress it into a short period. Um, you know it found zero blood found, zero deer found, no hair, found nothing. And when we restarted that track three times just to be sure, Um, she was on the right dear, and yeah, we just never never could find anything. And he went and did downwind sweeps of all the different areas of cover just in case and see if she could smell a body or something enough. And um, so I don't know it was. It was midnight or one o'clock or something by the time we called. We called it, and um, I ended up finding after looking for more blood, I found in this area where we found that little speck of blood, you know, like a little less than a fingernail blood. Um, there's a lot of these little berries, like red berries, and one of the berries I was smashing barriers to try to see like what does the smash berry look like? And one of them had like an orange jelly light consistency. I was like, Okay, that doesn't look anything like our blood, so I must be really blood. But then later I was testing on another berry and that one looked exactly like our speck of blood. There's a dark red barrier. So then I was starting to question, like was that even blood. We looked at the footage over and over again, like, man, we can't see an impact. We can't see like maybe maybe this little movement on his shoulder is it, but we just can't tell on the small screen. Um, And so we we pulled out for the night. You guys blew it up on the big screen, looked at again, and what did you guys see justin when you looked on the big screen. Yeah, we got back at thirty and I was like just kind of dying to see what had happened, because I knew once we got like zoomed in a bit, it would tell more of the story. And um, you could see the shot and immediately you know the deer reacted and when you go frame by frame, like then I see behind the deer there's a reaction at the base of this tree, and I see a stick jump and then I see like they're So it was immediately evident that like the shot was over its back and it hit the tree behind, and there was a little bit of a you know, and obviously you have a three inch screen, you can't really tell what's going on. But yeah, so it was like, man, I wish we could have seen this sooner, but it was It actually was a relief because I knew then we could tell Dan like us, and the deer's not hurt at all. What we what we thought was blood must be these berries, which we kind of like wrestled with the whole time because we kept kind of seeing and so I knew that Dan was already like struggling, but I knew like part of that struggle was the fact that he has a wounded deer out there. So it was a way to to add closure to that situation and like hopefully get him, uh mentally where he could try again. Yeah, so we ended the night and you know kind of a Dan, take tonight, sleep in, think about what you want to do, um, and then let's figure out how we want to proceed from here. What was last night and this morning? Like for you, Yeah, last night was rough. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. It was like, you know, a lot of different things happening in my mind. Like you know, the big thing was all right, I just shot at the animal. I wounded it, but he didn't die. Um. That that was. That's been like my biggest thing with with getting into hunting is like I don't want to like have to put you know, more than one arrow in a deer, more than one shot intew a deer. I just want to clean an ethical kill like that. That was. That was really eating away at me. Uh. The other part of it is like we were we were out, all of us were out, and I you know, I really appreciate you guys being out and being so supportive Like that was like God, like I put us in this situation. I'm bringing the whole group down. Like I feel terrible, but you I mean, you guys were great, justin you June Bug and Andy like put in put in some work to try to figure out what was going on. And I really appreciate that. That was going through my mind and I just kind I felt bad. I felt you know a little bit of embarrassment, Like I just just kind of had a sick to my stomach type type of field in so many different ways that that was last night. But you know, I went back. I was so austin and I ended up luckily crashing right away. Um, you know, woke up this morning and I had talked to one of my fishing buddies, Will, and he was, you know, I was running through everything was going on. I was telling him like what should I do, Like should I just kind of take it off or whatever? And he was like kind of talking me through some stuff. He's like he's a fan of Jocko and he goes, you know, when something bad happens, like good get better. And I'm like, alright, Like now you got me all fired up. So you know you had mentioned you had mentioned maybe you know, you know, take them morning off and getting some some more shots and making sure our gun was good and then maybe doing something like an evening hunt. And I was like, all right, let's let's do that. Let's get comfortable with the gun again, and then let's maybe try to give it another shot in the evening. Well. I was excited to hear that because my experience has always been that, Like, what happened is the worst. It's the worst feeling if you go from this euphoria thinking that the thing you've wanted so badly just happened to just having a crash back down. I mean, there's no wilder swing of emotions that I can think if you go from we said all the time, the highest highest to the lowest and lowest. I mean, that's but the best thing I found is too you feel it, feel it that day or that night, experience it. Okay, this sucks. This happened, Like we're not gonna ignore that it happened. It happened, but it's now past us, it's behind us. There's nothing I can I can't do anything to change what happened. All I can do is change what's next. So, like Jacko says, good now, what now? What are you gonna do? And that's the way I've always tried to approach things. So that next day I like to shoot, get get my confidence back, and that's back into it. And so that's what we did this morning, came over my place, we did some more shooting. You're shooting great. The gun the site was actually, for whatever reason, the scope was hitting a little bit higher than we would have wanted, so we tweaked that a little bit. We've practiced different shooting angles, different shoot positions. So you shot seated, you shot kneeling, You shot with a good rest, you shot with just the stick rest, um got you. You know, I hope you're feeling confident again and locked in and we're gonna go out and give it a crack tonight. So so so you're you're feeling, you're feeling ready to take take this next step and get back effort. Yeah, I'm excited. I'm feeling ready. Yeah, last night was rough, and you know, so many things we're going through my mind, like God, like just I should just stick to fishing or something like. You know, well, I'm glad you got past that because I love fishing. It's not as much meat and uh. And I think that when this all comes together for you, when it's going to I can't promise gonna happen today, but at some point this is gonna come together for you, makes it all the much sweeter. Oh man, It's gonna be an unbelievable culmination for you, and you're gonna eat the best food of your life and you'll never feel so satisfied with the meal and the work you put into this is going to come back tenfold. And I'm just so excited for that moment. And I hope it happens tonight. If not, I hope I'm gonna get a phone call or a picture and I'm gonna crack a cold one for you, and I'm gonna be really really happy because I got a lot of confidence in you from from spend time with you last fall, a little bit this summer, now this week. Um, you are on the right track, man, You're definitely on the right track. So so I guess the way to end this then because we know how dance hunt last night and and we'll get an ending there possibly later today. But you had made these mistakes, or maybe not in really big mistakes, but you had these things happen, you know, the nerves, and we've talked with things like justin described feeling you had to force a shot, feeling like you've had forced a shot with that deer in the bow. Um, you know you're a brand new hunter and you experienced that. Well, we should end the conversation with a very experienced hunter describing something like that. So for all of you folks listening, you heard last week I shared the story of how I killed the draft time buck out here in the back for you. Well, when I got that done, we finished filming things and I had a couple of extra days before Dan and Dane we're going to show up, so I had some bonus hunts. I thought, Man, I can get back and try to get after my target buck again. This deer I've been hunting for the last three years, call him Tran. Anyone listening for a long period of time has heard too much about this deer. So I was really excited, like, man, I get to go back after it. Good weather, good conditions. I haven't been in there four days. Um, he's been in this little pocket so much in the past. I'm going to get back in there and take a crack. So a couple updates from the last time I talked about my hunt for tram So the last time on the podcast I gave you as an update, it was after I had seen him locked onto a dough. I tried to spot and stalk in on him, never came quite close enough. And then two days later I think I made the move into like the middle of this betting area. Super early set up a news stand, and he came by ten minutes before a shooting light, and I couldn't shoot him, but he was right there ten yards and then he winded me after he walked past my shooting lane and went down wind. So that had all happened. After that, hunt kept on going after him. The next day, I'm walking out to set up on the north side of this betting area, and as I'm walking on the outside edge of the cut cornfield, the only way I can get to the north side of the section. Um, there's never deer betted around here. This is safe access route. It's like two o'clock in the afternoon or one thirty in the afternoon, and a deer, a dope jumps out from in front of me, and like a little ten ft patch of grass on the edge of this cornfield, the dope starts running and then right behind her steps up Tran goes running away. He was down winding me. He was he saw me, so I just busted him, like fifty yards away. He goes running the laft. So that's the second time. And no, well, he winded me twice the day before because he went down wind to me before daylight and then came two hundred yards down wind later in the day. The day prior and now the next day, I just bumped him visually and with wind. So I'm bummed out and frustrated with that. I repositioned for that even news hunt. Don't see him that night, but the next day I keep on keep on moving, and basically at this point in the season, after having had so many encounters with him in this in and around his betting area, I decided, like the rest of my hunt for him, the key is not I'm not blowing the mount of here. He wants to be in this pocket. It's like thirty acres a thick, nasty and there's so many doughs in here, and it just seems like everything I'm seeing this is where he is, and he's just going from dough to dough to dough in here, and there's no reason for him to leave because there's enough dos in here in this food and cover, and if if you know, historically he's not been bothered in this area. Just this year, for the first time, I could get into some of the stuff. So I decided I'm just gonna keep cycling around this based off wind direct and being one of these couple of key places that he seems to pass through the most when he's cruising or we're does will take him in and out here on a camp out in those spots, so that next night I make a move into the same general area, see him again. He's kind of cruising, follows a doorways blah blah blah, but similar situation doesn't give me a shot. Um too far away with her and then follows her out into the corn. That was right around the end of the first period of hunting before I had come and start hunting the back forty. So come hunt the back ford to kill the draft time buck. Now I'm back on the property. I've got my couple of bonus days. First day it's cold front pushing to the south side of this pocket of bedding because we've got something slightly north northwest winds and gets set up on the edge of the stuff. Every time and going, I'm setting a new stands. I hunting new spots every single time, going in my sticks and saddle about an hour after daylight. Um, I'm watching t J. This buck that looks just like Tram like a couple of years younger. He comes working past me like five yards. I'm watching him and I look up and here comes the real deal. Here comes Tran coming right at me. Um, it looks great, like this is gonna have him grabbed my ball, get clipped on. He's at seventy five, he's at seventy, he's at sixty five, he's at sixty, he's at fifty five, kind of heading up my right at me, and then he turns his angle and starts angling the way back to sixty, back to sixty five, back to seventy. And at that point I realized, Okay, he's not coming my way. Um, I gotta try something. So I grabbed the grunt tube. Get him a grunt. He stopped, looked my way, took a step forward, and then turn start walking away again. It's like, I'll try to get a little more aggressive and try snort wee's. And we just had this whole big debate about snort weez is like the day before with Tony and Justin and Charlie, and I know he says, man, you know, I really don't like to use snort reezes on immature bucks and and even on big mature bucks that regularly works in Michigan, where I hunt, but you know it was worth a shot, so I ripped out of snort whist. He spins, stares at me, and then does like the head like left to the right, to the left to the right, and then uh not today, bro. They starts to running away. He goes bolting off and then stops after like bolting like forty yards, stops, turns back again, and then just as like a fast paced walk kind of paralleling away from me. So once again, another close call doesn't come together. I'm like, oh my god, I'm never gonna kill this deer. And this has just been like endless. Every couple of days I have an encounter with him but just just a little too far away or something goes wrong or that was the same story last year. And I've been talking about this deer and busting my balls trying to get this deer, and it's just it just felt it was never gonna happen. Um. And and as much as I love hunting deer, and I love chasing one specific deer and I love all that stuff, I was definitely getting frustrated. Just felt like I just feel like I'm chasing my tail, and um, I don't know it was just I was kind of just bonking. Just it's kind of like that I don't know want to do. Like every night I come back, I'm talking to my wife school, what happened? What do you think? I'm like, I gotta throw my hands up and there I'm like, I don't know, Like I'm right there but never right there, and I don't know what else to do. Um, I'm just gonna keep on trying and keep on being in this general area and and try to be as smart as you can with the wind. And eventually I gotta get lucky. Like I just need the right set of circumstance. I'm right in the game. I just need one more thing to follow my favor. So make another move. The next day, see him again, but he's chasing a dough out of range. Um where I was the day before or something like that takes us one day further. And this is November twelve, and I pushed in, got in really early, came in the back door of this betting year set up just on the outside edge of the really thick, nasty st uf, just with the wind cutting it, and um, I this is right on his doorstep of the betting year. He likes the most. It's more signing there than anywhere else. It's more does coming in another spot than just about anywhere else. And I could, I could get away with it with a wind there. And it was kind of slow morning, but around ten I started seeing bucks showing up, just like it was. It was zero deer then all of a sudden like fuck, fuck buck, and then I saw deerro running pass. About ten thirty, I saw a buck around buck, a rounding bucker round the last buck I saw I look like tall times, tall, white times man. That could have been him. That might have been him was just a brief flash and this little gap in the timber, but I kind of got right into that he might have just ran up in there, watching, watching, watch, and I see some other bucks come back from that direction, and just feeling good. And it's late morning, it's almost eleven o'clock. But when you see that kind of activity, basically what I'm thinking my head is, Okay, there's a hot dough somewhere in my general region. That's that's what I need. And sure enough, not minutes after kind of being sitting there having the internal conversation, a dope pops up over this little berm, and the first thing I saw was she she popped over the berm, and then she squatted and starts peeing, and then her tails is flicking. Then she stopped just kind of hunting to her tails flicking, tails flicking, tails flicking, and immediately like that's a hot dough. That's a dough, and there's a buck with her, Like this is there's something behind her. I'm watching and waiting. She kind of takes a few more steps and just stands her tail flicking, tail flicking, tail flicking, takes a few more steps, looks behind her, and I just see the tips of these times, and then they keep on getting bigger and taller and taller and taller and taller and trying. The man steps out over this berm. Perfect Like the image is like we're in this timber. I'm on the edge of the thick stuff, and there's like standing mature timber, and he's actually in the standing mature timber, and there's all these trees. But then it's like one lane in between all the trees, and it looks kind of like if you're in an old cathedral, like an old Catholic cathedral, if you can imagine the aisle that runs down the middle of the cathedral and you get all your pews on either side. He was kind of standing there at the end of the aisle, like the pastor at the front of this big Roman Catholic church, standing there, just proud, holding his hands up. But it was this huge antler current kind of turns and looks and his head's kind of going left and right, and the lights glimmering off him, and I think, holy shit, here we go. And then she turns. She's been going kind of parallel to me, and she turns and starts walking right to me, and that's when I really said, holy ship, here we go. Grab my bow and I remember thinking, finally, finally, I've got a hot deal that's gonna just bring him right towards me. And that's what they do coming my way. And I remember thinking, in this moment, okay, like what like, think through everything? Where is she gonna come through? I made sure like there's no sticks behind you that you're gonna bump when I moved down to position and said, okay, make sure, how are you going to adjust your knees here? How are you gonna be positioned? Trying to think through exactly we're gonna pass through. I grab my range finder, made sure would be easy for me to grab my range for I started ranging things in front of her so that I would know ahead of time. If she stops behind this tree, she's gonna be at this distance. If they come through here, there's gonna be that distance. I remember looking at my broadhead make sure my broadhead didn't get pulled off or anything. I was like trying to check all. I was like, okay, check, check, check, check, and they're just slowly working their way. She comes towards this little old two track that runs right along this edge down nearby, and I remember thinking, okay, that's where she's didn't cross this at this two track. If she crossed the two track and gets to the other side of it, she gets into the thick and then there's there's there's no shots at that point. So I ranged right as she crosses. I've ranged her, and she's about forty yards, So I'm thinking, okay, he's gonna be crossing just about the same place, about forty yards. And there's a big tree right there, and there's the y in the tree, and right in between the y is where she crossed and I thought, Okay, that's my one shot if he comes through there. So she crosses. I'm watching him as soon as he got to you know, just for that, and stepped behind a tree. I drew back anchored, got on it and just waited for him to step into that hole. And as soon as he stepped in that hole, RANT trying to stop him, and he just blasts right through that lane that didn't even pause, just like right through zero shot. And immediately it's down into that thick with the dough. So now he's a thirty nine or thirty eight or something like that. She keeps walking and now I remember thinking myself, now, what like you have to get a shot. He's right here, He's finally in range. You finally have your chance of this deer that has consumed your life for the last two years. And like everything, like I've never worked so hard for a deer. I know, like every year I talked like that, I guess, but this has really been like a different level. Um, like I've done I've tried to analyze like what I do and how I do it, and have I made good decisions and have I been doing things the right way? And even though like the rest haven't been what I've wanted. I'm a nerd, and I've read a lot about like decision making and like trying to find different ways to analyze the quality of your decisions, how to make better decisions, how to uh learn from your results. And there's something called resulting, which is a bias that the human mind has, typically where you will misjudge decisions based off the end result, when oftentimes an end result is not directly correlated to a decision, but a variety of different factors. So you won't take into effect pure chance, you won't take into effect um, you know, all these different variables, and you'll just say, well, because because such and such guy through an interception, that was a bad play call and that quarterback sucks and that was bad, bad, bad, when actually maybe it really was if you look at the probabilities and if you look at everything, it was really the best play call he could have made, and it really was a good pass, but they just got a little lucky, or that one guy took a step and it changes everything. And so what I've tried to do over the course of the season is to not judge what I'm doing based solely on the results of each one of my hunts. If I were to do that and be getting more and more and more frustrated, I think I'm an idiot. But to instead try to judge the quality of my decisions throughout the season, and so think, okay, based on what I know, based on what I've seen, based on all the work I've put in, Um, you know, did I do the right thing? Did I do the thing that I knew I should do? When I look back and think, okay, with all these factors, was that decision? You know? Did I put in the amount of work I should have? Did I do the thing that would have given me the highest probability even though it didn't work out? Could I have done something different looking back on it without some kind of hindsight bias and what I've done it differently and many times like, No, it didn't work out, but that was a damn good decision and you execute it on the right way. I bring all this stuff to say that it feels it has felt like more than any other year I have. I've leveled up, but the results haven't panned out that way. I've been like, really happy with how I made adjustments in my level of aggression and my willingness to try new things and adapt and adapt and adapt, and so now finally things are working out. It looks like it feels like finally, you know, this is it, This is this thing I've been building up to all this time, and he's in this thick stuff, and my brains with my brain flips over to it's gotta happen. It's gotta happen. It's gotta happen. You need a shot, You need a shot, You need a shot, And all that slow and smooth and controlled stuff flies out the window and now it's how you Yes shoot, yes, shot, You have a fair way to do it. And so I remember he's in there, and I'm like where there's gotta be some way to get a shot through here. And I remember I'm in my saddle. I'm looking up and I'm looking down. I'm trying to find is there any pocket? Is there any holes there? Any gap? Is there any little slit I could fit an arrow through? And I find a little hole like a melon or a small volleyball or something. There's a little hole like man, if he comes right through there, which where the dough was, I can maybe slip one through there. And remember I had to I had just my tether, so for anyone who hunts from his saddle, you know what I'm talking about here, I had to like pull my rope down and just like three ft down. So instead of being like leaning up almost standing on my platform, now I'm like three ft down lower, like hanging down low, and my knee against the tree. So I'm downlowing off so I could actually shoot through this hole. And oh, I'm just gonna get Charlie horse my leg. I find this hole and I'm looking at the hole. I'm thinking I could slip one through there. But there's still twigs and branches and stuff all around it. It's just the one thing that's not impenetrable. But in that moment, I'm thinking, I gotta do it. I gotta do what I gotta do it, I gotta do it, and I draw back. Is he's getting close and then he hangs up, and he's standing in there and just standing there and just standing there, and then finally he steps into that hole. And even if I'm trying to remember everything that's going on, I even think in the moment I said something to myself like this, excuse me, the effort. I remember thinking like this, I think, I think, I remember having a moment like this isn't good. But it was like I was already pulling back as that was happening, like I was. I was not drawing back like I was on him, and I was executing the shot, just hoping I could punch it through. And and moments after I released the arrow, I instantly said I released the arrow, and instantly was like that was so stupid. But for the thirty seconds preceding it, I couldn't get that into my head. I couldn't. I had no control of it was all that pressure built. It was like a volcano inside of me, and I couldn't stop the lava. And it was just it was just going. The train was going, and I had two I had to shoot. And then as soon as I shot, I knew that I had done the wrong thing. And I knew that I just did the one thing that I tell myself and I tell other people not to do, which is forced the shot. I old my dad, as I told you, is you can never you can always get another shot some day. You can never take an arrow back if you force the shot, if you forced a bullet you can never get that back. And I did it myself and I couldn't get that arrow back and I missed. And I immediately knew I missed, and I think, I think, you know, when this little tiny hole hit those branches at the end, and so it could have been you know, I saw it was just like a it was just a stupid mess. And and you know, I still not even look back now. I'm just like, uh, I still feel the same way I guess I felt then, just like devastated and just stupid and embarrassed and pissed. And another thing I remembers as soon as that happened, and I said to myself that was like, what are you doing? Man? The first thing I thought was I'm never telling anyone about this. First thing, I thought, like, I'm not going to tell my friends, I'm not telling my wife. Um. I was so mad that I just had let that happen and so frustrated by that. Was like nobody, I can't tell anyone about this. It was like so painful in that moment. Um. Yeah, but it is, isn't that life? Though? I Mean, obviously it doesn't matter who you are. Like Michael Jordan failed and he was the best, right, we you always just try your best, and like you were saying, it doesn't mean the outcome is going to be the best. But uh, what if you had killed him, you'd have been you'd have been like I did the best. I did the right thing. Yeah, talk about resulting. The sliver of hope is what makes us do kind of those. I mean, it's out of left field decisions. It might work if we all did it, if we always like succeeded, Ah, then I mean we we how could we grow? You know? So you know, I think you only think you made the bad, the wrong decision because it didn't work out. Well, I'm going to disagree with it a little bit because even if I did kill him and did hit him, it's still if I would have been by luck, like, it was still a poor It was a low odd shot. I should not have forced a shot through a tiny little gap like that with little twigs and branches and ship all around it. I simply like, that's not a good, smart, high odds shot. There's too much room for air. It was forced. Um, I guess ethics that would come into play there. Yeah, And and so for that reason, I shouldn't have like if if I had watched anyone else do that, I was like, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it. You can get another shot another day, or maybe he'll swing around, or maybe he'll turn around, or you know, you don't need to God forbid, I could now the worst case scenario didn't happen. The first case scenario could have been I forced that shot and I did hit him, and I hit him in the guts or him in the leg, or injured him somehow, I means so. So I got lucky in that regard. At least it was a clean mess and I was able to eventually get down go check it, found my arrow. I saw exactly a zero blood, zero anything on it, so I could confirm on clean mess. But thank goodness, I didn't want him. Um and uh and yeah, you know I couldn't have worked out. Maybe was there very high odds of it working out? No? Was I happy with how I handled the moment. No, it was the exact opposite of what I did four days prior with the draftime buck right. He talked about how I was in control of my process. I was slow, I wasn't forcing it. You were wondering why isn't he shooting yet? Was because I was in it. I was focused, I was in control. In this case, it was the the ship was moving and I was just hanging on and UM, and I'm I'm better than that. I'm experienced enough that I shouldn't have let that happen. But it did. And I eventually decided that, you know, kind of back to what I was telling you the other day, Dan, you you know, all you can do is is figure out what you can do next and what good can come from this. Um. We had this podcast a month or two ago, a month ago maybe with the author of this book The Obstacles the Way, and the idea here is that oftentimes like it's the challenge, it's the thing that goes wrong, it's the roadblock that is actually what leads to the thing you want. That's what's gonna lead you to growth, that's gonna lead you to success if you if you if you choose to look at it as as you're the victim, then it can be your downfall. If you look at it, Okay, this is a thing that happened, Now what that can actually be the impetus for for good things? And so looking back on I thought, Okay, I could keep this to myself and I know what he has to know, and no one needs to look at Mark and think he's an idiot or think he shanked the shot at the buck of his life. The buck he's talked about. No one will give me crap on Instagram, bought it, no one will judge me, and my friends won't know. Um blah blah blah blah blah and all that seemed very um tempting in that moment. But then over the course of that day, I thought, Okay, this thing happened, Now what are you gonna do about it? And there's two good things that could come out of One of the good things could be that I could learn from it. I could once again see one of my see an examine and learn from one of my mistakes and get better from it. But also maybe this is something that we can use as an example. It can help all other people too. And I think what I've tried to do with this podcast has never positioned myself as like I am the end I'll be all expert in all things, and you should look at me and listen to me, and I'm gonna tell you exactly how to do things perfectly. Um, I'm not that guy. Anyone who listens knows that I'm not the guy that you need to put on a pedestal and think, Man, that guy's a slayer, he's perfect and feeling I could be like that. No, I have been someone who has a huge passion for this thing, and I'm always trying to get better. And I want to share with everyone what's working, what's not, what we can learn from my mistakes and others, and how do we all grow from them? And so here I am. I'm at my the biggest mistake, the biggest failure of my hunting um journey in a good number of years. I haven't had a doozy like this in a long time. And and here I am my my big goal. I've been going after this thing. I put more time and energy into. You know, I did this thing. I blew it. And so the question is not what's marking to do? What can you do? Um? And And for what it's worth, what I've tried to do, what I decided to do is all right. And dude, just what Dan did that night that won't hurt? It was like a knife in the back. I just felt like I let myself down, my family down, you know, whatever. You know. I don't mean to over dramatize it, but it felt intense for me. But the next day got the bow out and just kept shooting, shooting and shooting shooting, thinking through, how do you not make that same mistake again? What did I learn from this? I learned that I still do lose control. Now. I thought maybe I had it all under control. I thought maybe I wouldn't fall prey to that, but the pressure was there. I felt like I had to force it, and I did, and that was a mistake. So next time, hopefully it's gonna be a thing where I can catch myself. I can remember the pain of this moment and not let that happen again. I can be better prepared for the next situation. Um, and all this, the point of any and all this is that it's gonna happen. It does happen. Happened to me, happened to Justin, happened to Dan. Um. I hope it doesn't happen to Dane with your bow, but thank you appreciate that. I hope it hasn't. But in this there's no like secret formula here, there's no, like secret actic, I can tell you it's gonna be like, hey, here's this thing, and it's gonna change you, and you're never gonna miss anymore. You're gonna be You're gonna be just a bow hunting assassin now and you're gonna be ice cold. No, you need to live through these things. You gotta work through them. You gotta keep practice, and you gotta keep trying. You gotta keep the faith. You have to decide that No, I'm not gonna let that define me. No, I'm not gonna let that ruin the rest of my season. You can't change the past. All you can do is decide what do you do next? And damn it, that's I'm gonna do. Keep getting after, keep getting better, keep hunting, and maybe I'll kill this buck someday. Maybe I won't, but I know that I am different and it will be better because of it. And I think, as a hunter or dad, or a businessman or a woman or anything, you're not always going to be a successful reaching your goal, but you can always get better. You can always work to take that next step, and that's that's something worth striving for. So that's where I'm at, Well said any thoughts, any closing words, anything else we want to add to this before wrapping it up. H I got nothing, no, man, I'm good. All right. Well, then here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna go out for our last ton of the trip. Dan, We're gonna try to get you your first Dear, I hope, and I'm crossing all my fingers and toes. They're gonna get a crack at one. Are you wanting to shoot a do tonight? Okay, yeah, so so we've got higher higher odds. We're gonna stop the podcast now and if we shoot a deer tonight, we're gonna come back. We're gonna stop for five seconds. We have a long pause here, and then we'renna jump right back and we're gonna tell you Dan's story of success. If we don't shoot a deer tonight, you're gonna hear five second pause and the damn things just gonna end. We'renna leave you with five seconds of drama and then you're gonna find out how tonight went one way or another. So that Dan, let's cross our fingers and toes. Dane, same to you. You're hunting to hoping that you have some success tonight. Feed on the ground, Feeding the ground. Yeah, we're gonna have an exciting Hunt's gonna groundpound it. It's gonna be good. Okay, are we ready? Thinks? So all right, let's start a five second pause in five four three two one, and unfortunately we don't have the happy ending. I had a really close call at last light. A couple of dolls came out and Dan almost got a shot at one of them, but the only shot opportunity came when the two doors were stacked. There was one younger one directly behind the baby mature dough and we didn't want to take that shot and possible hit both, so we passed on it. A situation where Dan did the smart thing and didn't force a potentially risky shop. So that was tonight, and with that, we're gonna wrap this episode up. I I kind of struggled with this one, especially even after we recorded it. As we were walking out to Hunt, I was just thinking my head, did we achieve anything with this podcast? Did we help anyone with this podcast? Was there anything revolutionary with this that was actually gonna help someone that made this worth listening to? I don't I don't know UM, I sure hope so UM recording this and putting this out there, I sure as how hope there's some good that can come from this. I hope it wasn't just us rambling on about the cruddy things that happened to us. UM. But if you're listening to this and that's how you feel, I'm sorry. I hope I hope that's not the case. Though. UM, you know it's it's one of those things that is a tough it's a tough deal, right. But I will close with this thought, which is after my miss on tram that I just told you it's all about, which obviously you know, really really bummed me out. As I described, after all those things happened, UM, I had one really important thing that I remembered, and that was my kids. I knew I was going to go home and see my boys, I was gonna see my wife. And though at times it can feel it, deer hunting is so so important, and that whether or not I achieved this goal is so so important. Ah, having children or family members or those other things in life, UM, that can center you again remembering those things and those really really good things in your life that can help you put all this in perspective. So, yeah, uh, I missed a deer. Yeah it was a deer I really wanted to get a shot at. Yeah, I'm very disappointed. At the same time, life goes on. I've got a couple of wonderful kids. I've got a great family, a good job. I'm very fortunate. You can't hang your head for too long. And that's what I remember. And I went home, and I gave my boys a hug, and I ran around pretending to be a wolf while my son pretended to be an elk, and I helped him shoot his pretending nerf bow and we're laughing and playing and having a grand old time, and everything is okay. So, for whatever it's worth, that's something that I that I often times need to remind myself of that this stuff can sometimes be all consuming, but you you don't need to let it be. There's more to it. And I'm really lucky. I've got a couple of kidouts here at home that helped me remember that often. So that is it. That's my long winded, rambling final thought of the day. I hope this is helpful in some kind of way. Thank you for listening, Thanks for hearing us out and uh and rolling with us on this one. Hopefully we're all going to learn a little something, We're all gonna get a little better, We're all going to enjoy the rest of our seasons. I hope you guys are having a great season, and I will leave you with one final reminder some good news. Good news is that, like I mentioned earlier, season two of the Back forty is now out there in the second episode just dropped a few days ago, So heading over to the Meat Eater YouTube channel to watch episode two. That's the one that Dan Jjo the guy were talking to there. That's the episode in which we introduced him and you see him working on the farm, So check it out. Thank you for everything. We appreciate your time being a part of this community spending some time with us, and until next time, stay wired to Hunt.

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