00:00:01 Speaker 1: I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. He told me bring a bucket, a macaroni and cat food for chump down, Little Glovett. Did you know that I was in a punk band in high school that covered the theme song to fishing with Orlando Wilson. Hashtag bed snag and hashtag private pond, hashtag stocker, hashtag anyone, Kira a guide, hashtag live aid, hashtag pet pass, hashtag skinny fogu. Poisonings are almost exclusively the result of d I Y mishaps, much like backyard moonshine blindness here in the States. Good morning, degenerate anglers, Welcome to Ben where we invite fishermen from all walks of life, all skill levels, and all factions to unite for an audio version of what Burning Man might be like if it was held at the Base Throw Shops. I'm Joe Surmeli and I'm Miles Nulty and it is now officially the full on dog days of summer. Yeah man, and uh, I mean, I guess it depends kind of on where you live, because it could mean a couple of different things. If you're if you're up here in the bitter North Country, like me, we're enjoying our annual five minutes of shirt sleeve fishing weather or or you know, in my case that means just covering up with really light stuff because I have a skin cancer problem. But if your latitude skews southward, you might be you might be hanging out on a couch somewhere, mainlining a c and respooling your reels until the water temps dropped below the boiling point. I remember learning that lesson the first time I ever fished in the West many years ago. Like I was boiling midday. We got into town late, and then I woke up the next morning and went outside the same stuff I was wearing at noon, and I was like, oh, no, that doesn't work. Suddenly it's twenty five degrees anyway, I think out here I am, it's it's like somewhere in between, it's it's it's too damn hot for trout fishing at least during the day. Though this is mousing season. Nighttime is the right time, and I do hope you get to do some of that soon. But for me, off shore is the place to be cool. Offshore breezes, mahi and yellow fins and bloody decks. Man, I just have to bring along a gym bag full of sweat towels. That's the that jim bag that you're always here, that's that's that's full of sweat towels. I was assumed, I mean, I assumed it was full of bootleg tapes of like live guar shows and fish themed Beatie babies. But uh, you know, learn different gym bag. It's a different gym bag. Learned something every day. Since we're on the subject learning things, Uh, we have a fishing report and this one comes to us from a part of the country that I would personally like to learn a whole lot more about. I have only fished South Louisiana once and I had an absolute blast. Really, you've only been down to South Louisiana one time? One time, man, one time. Man. It's like one of my favorite places on the planet. I've been down there a bunch. And what's funny is when most people think of anglers from Louisiana, they think Cajun, like like the Landry's on that alligator show that's been on, yeah for thirty years, but the storyline hasn't changed once, like not to get off of Like do people still buy the Chewdham shirts. That hasn't that run its course, I hope. So anyway, my crew down there, they're the boys in the Delta, right. They're not the Cajun dudes, and it's weird. They're like Southern dudes with a Northeast swagger. It's like Louisiana meets like Staten Island people, but I don't know how else to describe it. They're all good people, though, and I'm really happy that my bud down the Road Darren could make time his busy crabbing and hog shooting schedule to provide us with a solid report for this region. Hey, y'all, this is a down the Road Darren. At least that's what my partners called me. I'd use my real name for the reports, but I got a couple of warrants out in New Orleans for a little incident on Bourbon Street when I'm Mike Tyson, Kota Cowboys fan after the Saints whipped the Asses. I guess the Dacor's at the super Dome wasn't quite strong enough that night, so I peeled into a six pack of full Locos and ship got real weird after that. So, as far, as you notice, is down the road down anyway. This week's South Louisiana Fishing Report is brought to you by my ex old lady Shantell. I'm back in her good graces again. She finally let me go over to a place and pick up some rods and reels I left over there a while back. So I brought her a bushel of crabs, and uh, you know, we're back to getting along. So shout out to her for that. Unfortunately, she already pawned my generator. But like the good Lord says, I'll forgive and forget. Speckled trout was on fire last week. If you could get away from the dirty ass river water ship. I had to run all the way to Gosha Island to find clean water. But we was catching trout every cast as fast as you could throw for a while. The main thing is to have good lives shrimp under a popping cork or a Carolina rig. If you're gonna take the rode to Gosha, and make sure you bring plenty beer, because you could skin eighteen deer and the time it takes to get all the way to out there. My little cousin Timmy said they're wearing the snapper out on the rigs outside of out West Pass. Red snapper season opened a couple of weeks ago, and it's a limit. Every time they go. The man grows a biting good too. And I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. He told me bring a bucket of macaroni and cat food for chump. Then little love it. It pulls him off the rig faster than the backseat bang on prom night. Now, the red fishing hadn't quite picked up yet. The damn grass in the ponds is so thick this year thanks to global warming or whatever it is. We never had a cold winner, so the grass never died back, and the reds hadn't got in there thick yet. Best bet for Red's it probably to stick to the lakes with a dead shrimp under a cork. How alight, my boy, Rodney. When you get down around Shell Beach, she's got fresh shrimp he's selling right off the boat. Look for the boat called the Coolga Hunter. When you get down to the dock. It's freaking Africa hot right now. So get out real early or late in the afternoon. You're still gonna be sweating your ass off, but it's worth getting a few fish in the box. And if you don't get no fish in the box, how my boy Joey Campo he shot fifteen wild pigs last night and he don't feel like cleaning them all. Just bring you ice chests. And that's pretty much it for this week's report. As always, I'd like to thank my unofficial sponsors, Milla High Life, Ugly Stick Rods and the tackle section at Walmart. Now look holler at me if you want to go fish. They took my captain's license away for a little incident involving a fifth of vodka and too many red bulls. But I'm running trips under the table and I could put you on them. I can't actually give him a number out here, but you know, just hang out at the McDonald's a mirror until you see my truck. It's the white GMC with the dark tent all around all right. Later, wait, the cat food and the macaroni as snapper chum. That was bullshit, right? Oh absolutely not, man, that's that's real. Okay, I've I've been down that road that works. I love the Louisiana Meat Fishing Cruise because they're loaded with all sorts of tricks like that to get it done. They ain't coming back empty handed like that. It's just it's just not an option, even if that means switching from the ugly stick to like an a R fifteen. Man, I've seen some ship down there, yeah, I mean that that does fit all right. Like I said, I've only been there once, but the dude I fish down there was so dialed, so die hard and so deadly, and and it kind of seemed like that whole catching release fishing culture hadn't really caught on. I mean, you know, I was coming from Montana, where most people treat trout like faberge eggs, and my man Shane just started ripping reds a tossimate in the cooler. Yeah, that's how you do That's definitely how they do it down there. And I've been out with guides that end up catching more than the clients, especially if the clients are rookies, because it's this, it's this, this is the truth. Man. You don't want to be the guide at the lodge that evening that didn't limit that's no bullshit. It's unacceptable like among guide pools down there. But you know, honestly, I'm all about catching and releasing fish to protect fisheries and being smart about harvest and all that good stuff. But I will also house some red fish on the halfshell. Hell yeah. And on that note, let's move on to Finclips, the part of the show where we tell you everything you never thought you wanted to know about a fish you may or may not have heard of. And this week we're talking about a fish that you might want to think twice about eating. This week we're talking about fugu, a fish so delicious it might kill you or maybe just get you real high. Fugu is the Japanese term for puffer fish, and it has long been a delicacy charged with a hint of danger and a lot of hype. Puffer Fish contain a potent neurotoxin called tetrodotoxin that's lethal to humans. Ingestion causes loss of muscular control, so the victim slowly stops being able to breathe, but remains completely conscious. Worse, tetrodotoxin poisoning has no anted out or treatment, So why would anyone eat this fish? See? The toxin isn't found in the meat, It's concentrated in the liver, ovarise eyes and skin. The flesh, when prepared correctly by a trained chef, is perfectly safe and supposedly really delicious. A firm white meat that's usually eating rob but sometimes blanched to fried, fubu has long been a delicacy in Japan, Korea, and China, but the fish gain global notoriety in seven when a famous Japanese kabuki actor died from eating it. Legend has it that if you consume just a tiny amount of the toxin, your mouth and tongue go numb and you catch a unique buzz, and like other drugs, the more you consume, the higher your tolerance. Back then, it was fashionable in certain circles to have the chef makes a small amount of fugu liver with the soy sauce that you dip your meat in. Chef's got to know their regular customers levels of tolerance and adjusted their dosage accordingly. Apparently, this actor, like so many others, odeed on his favorite drug has just happened to be a poisonous puffer fish instead of heroin. Today, the Japanese government strictly regulates fugu sale and consumption. Chef's train for years to become licensed food cutters, and playing Russian Roulette with liver in the soy sauce is no longer kosher these days, Fugu poisonings are almost exclusively the result of d I y mishaps, much like backyard moonshine blindness here in the States. Fun side note turns out that humans might not be the only creatures dosing tetrodotoxin for fun. A BBC film crew making a TV series about dolphins witnessed a pod passing a puffer. According to an article in the UK's Daily Mail, quote, they nudge the fish with their snouts and as the toxin is released into the water, they seem to lapse into a trance like state. The dolphins were filmed gently playing with the puffer, passing it between each other for twenty thirty minutes at a time, unlike the fish they had caught as prey, which were swiftly torn apart. End quote, I myself have gotten numerous puffer fish us lee when I was getting my ass kicked by bone fish and need a little confidence booster. Like bone fish, puffers come up onto shallow sandy flats to feed on shrimp and crabs. Unlike bones. They're incredibly easy to see, pretty difficult to spook, and eat just about anything you put in front of them. They also fight like well, they actually fight exactly what you would expect a balloon full of water with tiny little fins to fight like. Pretty underwhelming so far, I haven't been adventurous or desperate enough to try and eat one. As an American, I prefer to have my food kill me slowly. Uh. Question for you, I'm a batanman. You're gonna say, yes, you ever seen The Serpent in the Rainbow. Oh, yes, I have. It's been it's been a at least twenty years, but yeah, I remember that was that West Craven. Yes, great movie about voodoo in the Islands and foogoo powder. It's like it's like the starring role, Like that's how they turn people into zombies that I forgot all about that kids Urpen in the Rainbow rent at a blockbuster. Um. Anyway, anyway, up here, right, we we actually target puffer fish all the time. It's actually a big deal, like this, this niche, little Northeast thing. But of course are puffers, which are northern puffers. They don't contain the toxin they don't have the poison, and dude, they are delicious. And when you clean them, you leave the tail on and the finished product looks like like a chicken drumstick, you know what I'm saying, because they're small, Yeah, and the meat just runs along the back, so the way when you clean them, it just looks like a chicken drumstick. And you target them with super tiny hooks and little pieces of shrimp, and they tend to come in the summer and it's it's it's a big deal. Like you'll see reports like you know, Baze loaded with puffers, you know, And so they are so good, I highly recommend them. So eating northern puffer fish great idea. Eating fugu kind of bad idea. Pissing off pissing off your fishing guide or charter captain also a bad idea, which leads up to this week's smooth move, nice segue, Joe. Why this is the part of the show where we call up one of our guide or charter kapner outfitter buddies and uh and have them tell us a story about one of the most ridiculous things they've had clients do on the boat. Every good guid or outfitter has amazing stories about clients doing stupid things on the water, and we love to bring those to you. This is smooth Moves, and today we're talking with our good friend Alvin Dido. Alvin, how's it going, man? Man? It is just going great today. Oh. I don't think I've ever heard you say anything else. And all the times we've hung out, it's you don't have bad days, do you, dude? If I'm alive, it's a great day, except for maybe the occasional hangover day. Yeah. You know, you get out there, you get on the water usually usually clears you up pretty good. Yeah. I could be having a bad day and here Alvin sam having a great day and I'm like, now you know I am now too, just the way you said that, just positive vibes. Man, that's right man, you put it out there, you make it happen. As a as a long time guide, I know sometimes you have clients to do their best to make your great day not so great. And we brought you here to tell us one of those stories. Man, what do you got? What's your smooth move? All right? So this this was a pretty awesome smooth move. It was in the boat adjacent to my boat, one of my guide buddies. So I got to witness this and this was this was so smooth. I couldn't believe it. I wish I had it on film. So my buddies got his client in the back of the boat throwing a spin and rod. We're fishing for bass. He's using a fluke, you know, plastic artificial and it's super weedless. But in order to hook the fish, you have to really set the hook, you know, so that that hook pokes through the plastic and actually hooks the fish. And this guy in the back of the boat, um, he would see the the bait disappear, bright pink bait, so you know the the you know the guys like, all right, dude, when you see that bait disappear, set the hook. Bait would disappear, and he just started reeling with the rod, just pointed right at the fish. You know. The fish never got hooked, just spits it out over and over again. So finally I see my buddies getting a little frustrated with the guy. So he goes, hey, dude, look, here's the deal. When you see that pink thing disappear, you got to rear back, set the hook and get that fish hooked and get him in the boat. You know. So dudes like, all right, all right, I think I got it. I think I got it. So about five minutes later, massive bass smashes his bait. He rears back, sets the hook so hard that he falls over out of the boat. I look over, I hear a splash, and the dude its feet are sticking straight up in the air. Luckily, luckily it was in fairly shallow water. So he stands up, and of course he hooked the fish. That time, reel's fishing, gets back in the boat, sits down. My buddy turns around, looks at him and goes, all right, dude, next time, I want you to set the hook almost that hard. When he landed the fish. Yeah, he made it, the fish man. He set He finally set the hook. You know, Now, once you get that hook set, I mean, you know, it's it's all over that that is that is a true smooth move there, Like falling out of the boat. Manage you get the fish in. That's that's quality. Stood up soaking wet, you know, pieces of weeds and stuff dripping off his face and everything. But he landed the fish. He did sport about it? Or was he embarrassing it wrecked his day? Oh? No, dude, he was. He was a good sport. He's like, I think, uh, I think, uh think I get what you're telling me. Taking off of eleven, dial it back to eight ish, Yeah, exactly, exactly. He had a great rest of the day. You know, we're in Texas. It was it was warm, it was nice. A little dunk just said him straight, have you have you ever fallen out of the boat, Joe? You know, it's it's strange, man, You think they'd be a write of passage for hardcore anglers, but I never have. I've done that. I've gotten stuck with a lot of hooks. That's also a write of passage, obviously. And I've come close to fallen out of the boat many times, though it's never actually happened, but I have been knocked off a few jetties during my younger stupider surfcasting days. Man about you, have you ever gone full man overboard? I was thinking about that while he was telling that story, and I can't remember. I can't personally remember ever falling out of the boat, but I remember I will my buddy will never let me live this down. Because when I was first learning to row a drift boat, I I did smash a rock so hard that I launched this friend of mine completely clear over the gunnal and right into the Madison. And it was so his wife was hooked into the biggest brown shout of her life at the time. And I was so focused on trying to get that fish landed that I just completely missed this boulder and I ted that thing like full on t boned it on the chine and he was already leaning over with the net and just ejected, and uh, you know, I kind of saved it because it was like, well, now you're out of the boat, you got the net, you might as well get the fish, and and it all worked out. But no, he hasn't let me. He hasn't let me forget about it. Well, first of all, remind me never to let you row my boat. But quick up better. I know I know you have. But with safety lesson, they're all the same because I've run into similar issues, like, no matter where you are when you hook a fish, just just put the damn anchor down, because I've done the same thing. You're so wrapped up in the fight that it's it's it's like all that matters, and yeah, I've I've rammed some stuff in all of my boats. Alright, enough about falling out of boats. Let's stay in this metaphorical craft that we're calling a podcast because it's time for fish news. Fish news that escalated quickly, all right. For this segment, Joe and I have compiled what we think are the most interesting fish related news stories that we could find this week, the catches that neither of us know what the others about to say. So this is really just a little a little friendly competition between the two of us to see you who can who can bring the most interesting and and entertaining topics, And we're just hoping that we don't steal each other's thunder. Really, but how you feeling this sweet show? You think you think you got the goods? I think I do. I'll also add that um on a weekly basis, it's not always easy to find like super awesome fishing news. There's a lot, there's a lot of so some of these it's fun because it's like how can I stretch this to be entertaining? Because there are there are a lot of slow news weeks and fishing as we're learning. But I'm feeling confident I let this off last time. I'm gonna you're gonna, you're gonna kick. And and to be clear, it's fish news, not fishing news, because I think you know, some of mine might be a stretch to call them fishing news. I'll just be honest about that right now. And most of us are interested in fish, all right, So Joe, I'm gonna start this with a little, uh, a little word association game. All right, all right, what comes to your mind when I say carp trash? Not that I think they are, but it's just that's just simple, just just trash. Uh. Yeah, I think that's fair. But I got I noticed that that there are three things you didn't say. You didn't say nanotechnology, mechanical engineering, or futuristic super armor. The last one, the last one would have been the next thing I said, but I I went, truly the thing that popped into my head. So that's a that's probably because you didn't find The study that I did out of the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory explains how this group of researchers used advanced X ray imaging techniques This is like super science fiction stuff too. They used advanced X ray imaging techniques to figure out the secrets of carp scales. It turns out the carp scales and and a lot of other fish scales are incredibly tough and yet very flexible, much like me. There, puncture resistance to a plyability ratio is better than any armor that humans have been able to invent so far. Right, So this is this is all in the realm of biomimicry. I gotta say that's wrong, man, because I've seen arrows bounce off a lot of ship but they correct. Hold on, just let me get there you alright, alright, alright. This is all coming out of of the area of study called biomimicry, which is the emulation of model systems and elements found in nature to solve complex human problems. Right. The thinking here being that the process of evolution has had a pretty long period of of of trial and error to figure out what works and what doesn't as far as as life on our planets concerned. So you know, maybe we should look to natural systems for design principles. In this particular case, these researchers are looking at how common carp scales can help us design better armor, right, And the idea of using fish scales as a blueprint for armor is actually really old. Scale armor was popular with the ancient Romans, Persians, and Byzantines. It's been around for more than three thousand years. But this new researches is like it's taken it to the next level. And yeah, some other people like Joe out there are probably going like, oh man, it can't be that good us seeing carpet killed with bows and arrows all the time, and yeah, yes, yes, you're right. Common carp scales can't like force a compound bow arrow to bounce off as they occur in nature. But we're not talking about covering your body in carp scales, Joe and sending you out to the field of fire. That's not what this is the idea. The idea is to borrow the design of carp scales to make armor from different materials that could withstand the force of an arrow shot from a compound bow or maybe even like you know, around from a high powered rifle without the weight and rigidity of current armor. Well, go ahead, go ahead, fish like As of right now, that super the super dupercarp armor doesn't exist. Don't go out looking for it. You can't buy car like supercarp armor yet. But the researchers have finished mapping the fiber structure of the scales and they're now working on how to reproduce them with tougher, tougher materials, So we might actually have like carp armor in our future fighting forces. Well, okay, and that's cool, Like I think that's neat. But what it's got me thinking about is, if you're gonna do a study like that, wouldn't you agree? Like several other fish come to mind right away that if I was going to study their scale structure and how it relates to making armor, it wouldn't have been carp. Like dude, alligator gar black drum you could play. I mean, like, dude, I've clean big black drum in South Jersey. They're tough, man. This this study actually did say like I didn't have time to get into all the details. They started with arapaima because those things are like crazy armored, but I guess they were just too complicated, like they couldn't figure it out, so they had to step it down to something a little simpler that or they or they didn't have the budget to go where Arapaima live and do this study there, Like you guys got thirty bucks. Figure it out. There's a ditch out back. I support there, We'll study them instead. Now, dude, it's fascinating. I just it's just strikes me as odd that carp of all things. Yeah, I mean I think, like I said, I think that that is striking the balance I want you can understand from when I read it, striking the balance of not so complicated that they can't study it, but also has a lot of the characteristics that they wanted. Right. They went into all kinds of crazy detail that I didn't bother. But it's it's really interesting how the different layers of the scales fused together, going from like really rigid to really appliable, and that allows those fish to be able to move. But still, you know, like have predators teeth bounce off of them again? Right, Well, okay, so with that said, I know somebody who who probably wishes they had some carp scales wrapped around their leg not too long ago. And this story has been all over, but we can't I can't not bring it back up again. You got to bring it up. It has to because it's just so unique and I've got so much to say. That was a really good segue, by the way, like nicely done taking that, and yeah, that was well done. I was straight off the cuff. Dude, man nailed it, Thank you. This is coming from the New York Post. Not even the lakes are safe this summer. Now, there's been some sharp ark attacks, right, pretty bad one up in Maine. But Kim Driver was standing chest deep on the beach at North Star Village along the Winnipeg River near Minaki, Ontario, when she was attacked by a musk a lung fish commonly known as a muskie which had heads. Musk along attacked by a musk along, which had heads resembling alligators and can grow up to six ft long and weigh more than fifty pounds. Now quote here, All of a sudden, she just said, someone, not something, Someone's got my leg. And I don't know why, but that just brings to my mind, like the the dingo took the baby. Quote someone's got my leg. Dingle took the baby. And then she started screaming and her arms went up and she went underwater, and uh, we all kind of stood there in complete disbelief and didn't know what was going on. Kim's husband, Terry told Vice, now you've probably seen the pictures a lot of us. I mean the damages. No poke, right, says Kim suffered extensive damage to her right leg and was taken to the hospital. And then Terry tear as I like to call him, goes on say it completely engulfed her calf from pretty much need an ankle. Uh, nobody's ever seen a musky t bone someone's calf. Now, the way I'm reading and interpreting this is that this muskie actually pulled Kim under allah the little kindner boy in Jaws, which I find a little hard to believe. I don't know, maybe right like she she she was not like a super petite lady, and I can understand if this was a little kid. Anyway, my favorite part of the story is this. Meanwhile, Terry is out for revenge. The couple plan on visiting the lake this weekend, and while Kim said she will stay out of the water, Terry said, I might throw a couple of musky lowres in that particular area and see if I can get a little bit of payback. You won't, Terry. That's my prediction, because muskies just sucked, and I'm convinced they'll be quicker to eat the curly tail grub you're throwing for croppy is on six pound tests or your wife's leg faster than a proper musky Laura fly. I mean, you know, if he was going to be really serious about this, he might have to say, hey, honey, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna need a chunk your leg. We need some bait. We know what it's after, bloods in the water. He's already had a taste of you. He'll come back for more. This is totally some ship that would happen to me, and it would happen on day five of another Musky list Musky fly fishing bender like zero action, but my my, my foot would get severed or like I tossed the ships who in for a cool dip and down would go scribbles, no shaking, no tender rice, like the irony, the whole thing, you know what I mean? And yeah, I'm sorry, dude, Like I've said this before, so I don't mind saying it again to me. I think muskies are overrated and I'll put that on record, Like, I personally would much rather spend serious coin to fly up to Saskatchewan, you know, and spend three or four days reefing on forty plus inch pike, then spend three or four days trying to get one muskie to you. But that that's just me. But that's what they do. They bite your leg, they killed the dog. I remember that story story. You can throw them bucktails all day long and they don't give a shit. Yeah that I don't know. Well, they've seen a zillion bucktails. They haven't had very many dogs, snacks like, I can understand them once some diversity and the like. Screw those things. I've eaten those before. Nothing good happens out of that. I cannot agree with you, though, because but it's partially because of my history, Like I got bit by the musky bug when I was probably seven years old. You have not been able to shake it. And I just got done filming the episode that you all of you out there will get to see. And I know what a pain in the ast they are. And that's still I can't quit them. Yeah, I just I can't quit you. No, no, no, dude. And and and I get it right, I like to joke around and mouth off about my my disdain for muskies. But again that's also just geographical. Like if I grew up in the Midwest, in Minnesota, Wisconsin, I would be that guy, and we have plenty of them here on the East Coast, but there's so many other things, like people always bust there like you still haven't have you And I'm like, no, I haven't, but I could have if every time I had free time to go fish. I was like, I'm doing nothing but that until it gets done. But I see, I can't bring myself to do that now, like a little musky here, a little musky there. But I also recognized that's not the way, like the the way to get things done if you really have a musky goal. I mean I don't. I don't know if i'd agree with that. I'd say that a healthy balance is good in anyone's life, no matter what you're doing, and that includes fishing. And you should fish for musky when it's fun, and then when you get annoyed, go grab some worms and fill a cooler with pan fish and giggle like a four year old kid. That's what I think you should do. You gotta get that balance in there. That's just my opinion. I hope we will continue to cover musky and pike attack stories because they are endlessly interesting to be And this one's different than anyone I've ever seen. Like you hear a lot about oh it was attacking the someone was was you know, had their fingers in the water and saw some jewelry and that bit the finger and cut the finger. This is a different level of musky aggression you think about it. Even if the report is three quarters true, that had to be one big ass musky. That wasn't the thirty two inch or that will be my first fly musky after all that time in Afria. No, No, definitely not. That was really not a small one. One thing I will say is that that now is the time to go musky fishing. Uh. Musky populations in North America are in better shape than they've been in in generations. They're doing really well. That we are living in the golden age of musky fishing, But we're we're not living in the golden age of of reefs. Reefs are not doing that great right now. And I'm gonna throw another question out as I get into the story for you personally, are you you kind of strict me? Maybe maybe you're you're kind of a probiotics guy. Spent a lot of time thinking about your your gut biome. Oh, I spent a lot of time thinking about my gut but just more so how awful it is. My gut biome lives on cheese kords in line in Google's I wish it once cheese currents. I don't have those here. I just do Freedo's. Uh notcho cheese damp Those are delicious, all right, I'm not I'm not really into probiotics either, but this story has got me thinking about prob probiotics and maybe being more of a fan in than in general, because you know how, like you know, of the planet's coral reefs are dying as we speak, and you know how, like coral reefs are home to of all the marine life on the planet, including some badass fish that we both like to catch. Indeed, well so, this research team that includes members from Brazil, the US, the UK, and Australia recently found that feeding corals probiotics improves their health and helps them survive stresses, including heat stress, which is one of the main things killing off all the reefs. So far, yes, yes, so far this is only worked in a lab setting, But the researchers are are when they can find a way to scale this up and and use it to help combat the massive reef die offs that are happening everywhere. So I read a couple of articles on this, and I'm gonna admit something I didn't actually dig up, like the peer reviewed journal study. I just I just read the articles about it. But there's a lot of that going around now, you know what I mean, just in general, was peer reviewed stuff just whatever is on Facebook. That's really hard. You know. It has a lot of big words in it, and I don't I'm I'm scared of them, but uh, I'm pretty sure that that they're not actually going out and like spreading yogurt on the reefs. That's just an analogy so that stupid non scientists like me can better understand what they're doing. Like, no one's going out in the Great Berry Reef with ocean tankers full of that that that awesome yogurt, you know, the one with the kangaroo on the label and just closing the reef down with like a covering it. But that that is the image that I cannot get out of my head, and I wish that's actually what it was. So that's my question. Do they talk about how they would on a grander scale administer something like that. The At this point, what I understand is that their their bacteria right there, these these beneficial bacteria that when they add them into these closed systems like the tanks that they're growing this reefs, and that the coral that had these these beneficial bacteria added into those tanks, we're better able to survive stress. So there was no talk about the actual mechanism for deploying this at this point. I think they're still trying to figure out the details that I think all they've got so far is like, hey man, we got this bacteria that makes the coral stronger. What are we gonna do about it? Because this might help? And I hope they figured out and and again I'm sure it's not like a yogurt blaster, but I kind of wish it was. Yeah, like that's what I buy for myself as those squeeze yogurts dan And there's no probiotics in that, but it's just like one like squeeze coral reef talking about yeah, go gurt, go gurt. I forgot about gogurt. They tried to make it interesting for the kids by putting somebody with a skateboard helmet on it. You don't need those fre doos. Here's some go gurt. It's cool to go gurt. Yeah ah man, Well, I mean they that that's good news, and we certainly need that. I just hope that some day I actually end up in one of the places, like I've never fished the Great Barrier or anything, So I hope they figure it out and I get there. But that costs a lot of money. That's why I car like to go back to your other story. That's why I carp fish and don't do arapaima. You know what I mean here. But I like knowing that they're there. It makes me feel good. Well, okay, if that makes you feel good. So not only are we gonna save the reefs with go gurt, Okay, we're also going to lessen the strain on the fish on those reefs because in in what could be the most revolutionary thing to ever happen to fishing. Kevin Kevin Harrington, a former Shark Tank Shark and the man behind the as seen on TV. Brand has just put his super Angler trusted stamp of approval on the bait Tenader hook, the baiton eader that that just makes me think of Bacon Eader like Wendy's has got to be coming for this guy. It's a possibility. He's he's got more money than Davy Crocodile. He'll take Dave Thomas down like it ain't no thing. And this comes from the news center at pr Web and quote Harrington. Unfortunately, ordinary jay hook's result in gut hooking fish, which critically injures them and oftentimes leads to their deaths. He explains, that's why I'm excited to tell you about baiton eader fish hooks perfect for catching release fishing. Baiton Eader wait is the only j hook on the market that greatly reduces gut hooking fish. Now, so we're clear, it's still a fully barbed, big ass jay hook. But here's the magic alright, So follow with me. Picture this in your head. Picture a small plastic bell, okay, and your line is attached to the top to the narrow end of the bell when there's an islet up there, and inside the bell is a metal rod that goes down the center. It's got a spring around it, and the jay hook connects to the bottom of the metal rod at the wide end of the bell. So what you do is you keep threading corn kernels on the hook and up the rod, thereby compressing the spring within the bell. So each time a wiley bullhead rips the kernel off the tip of the hook, another colonel just slides right into place, just slides right down the rod in the place. So the reason at least I'd say the baton eader greatly reduces gut hooking is because between the spring mechanism constantly feeding corn down the hook and covering the tip, plus the fact that only the very tip of the hook protrudes past the bottom lip of the bell. Of side effects may include the baton eator never actually having the ability to get into fishes mouth, never hooking a fish. All you'll do is feed bait to fish. So exactly, So that's that's why it's it's genius if you just if you literally just want to feed them. And the quote says, spend less time baiting and more time fishing. Harrington summarizes, but most importantly, help save and protect our fish for future anglers. Um but per the per the video, it only seems to work with corn, and the clip focuses on catfish being caught at what, to my eye is a pay leg where nobody ever went ever to catch and release anything. Ever, So, according according to the story, the full baiton Neator infomercial will air very soon across cable networks and social media platforms, which we we know means just one thing. Okay, two to three weeks from right now, one of our headlines is destined to read man combines power of tack to bite fish, call rattlesinker, mighty bite, one shot bait bullets, and the baiton Neator hook to catch everything fish in Lake Winnipesauke twice. Oh my god, the so I bullhead catfish. I can see it maybe working, But can you imagine trying to sell that to one of the finished fishing guys, like like a highly pressured bass lake or a walleye lake or a permit fishery, Like those fish are not gonna eat a bell shaped plastic cone. Yeah, that's basically you're you're talking about like a mini parking cone with like a couple of kernels of corn sticking out of the bottom, and they gotta come eat. They have to not be wigged out or scared of the whole mechanism. Yeah, I'm I'm calling bs on this whole thing. I don't buy it at all. I mean, maybe prove me wrong. Here's what I'll say, Prove us wrong, send us what we're missing, because clearly either we're missing something or this is like the worst fishing lure idea since the banjo minnow. Prove us wrong, you see, see if we're gonna get off here? But that actually bend or middle. I know because that was a precursor to some serious swim baiting technology before the other things. I've talked for years about buying all this crap and doing videos, and then I realized four billion people have already done that, and I'm just going to be a follower taking them down. Uh, the bait neater doesn't actually interest me as much as the tack to bite fish call. Have you've seen that? Which is a speaker that you throw out midst sounds? Um? You know, I mean just real fishermen don't don't buy this stuff. But I don't know, man, like I don't know spend less time baiting and more time fishing. It's got a nice ring to it depends on the baiting. It's a great tagline. I'll give him that. It's a great tagline. I fully endorsed their typeline. Well, dude, these were good. We didn't overlap and uh this was Yeah, this is another successful great segways. We're just killing the segways. But anyway, now I got to bring the temperature of the room down because from breaking the Internet with fishing gimmickry to breaking the Internet with skills for days, I unfortunately the one that has to tee up our new segment trolling with Lance don't you laugh. Don't laugh. And I'm sure all of you are already familiar with Internet fishing phenomenon Lance V. And if I'm being honest, this is why I'm pissed. I was totally against this segment. I really wanted absolutely nothing to do with this because our budget here at Bent is kind of dog shit and the only way to get a celebrity quote celebrity celebrity bullshit like Lances to just fully pay up right, And this is like we pissed away months on negotiations. We had to deal with his lawyer who was subsequently his mom. But Miles thought it was worth it because in the modern age, being a successful Internet fisherman is probably more important than most of you than being real fisherman. And Lance and Lances obviously the Tony Robbins of Internet fishing. Wisdom to the land, to the boats, to the like, to the sea, getting up the n on net put your boy lads, what's up? Wanna beast? Welcome back to trolling with Lance. I'm Lance Vie, better known as Extreme Hog Ropers nine because when I'm not winning an Internet fishing I'm either roping hogs or sixty nine in probably with your mom hashtag mill squad. Today, I'm gonna teach you how to comment on YouTube videos. Most of you put no thought or effort into this valuable and important craft. You just vomit whatever bullshit comes to the top of your head through your little keyboards. Harmless, right wrong. You're ruining the Internet and wasting my time making me scroll through your useless words. Typing nice fish bro or great video shows everyone who knows anything about Internet fishing that your opposer. YouTube comments were invented for one reason, and one reason only, to prove you're better than other anglers by pointing out everything they do wrong and insulting their little bitch egos. Your job is to tear down all who threatened you. Wish your be everybody with a YouTube fishing channel. If you're a genius like me in the Google squad hashtag Google for life, you'll find endless ways to attack and harass other people's VIDs. But here are my top five starting points from those of you who don't have the natural gift of shipping on other people that I do. Numero one fish size, duh, this is obvious. Everyone else is fish or small no matter what, even if they look big. You claim wide angle lens is fully extended arms, or my favorite small hands. I always have hold it closer to the camera. In a word document, ready to cut and paste into the common section of any given video hashtag tiny hands, Numero dose technique. In any fishing video, you can find something that could have been done better casting, fish, fighting, lipping, flipping, or netting doesn't really matter. Think of this like a treasure hunt. Somewhere in that half hour video is a mistake. It might be in the corner of the frame for half a second, but I promise it's there, you just have to find it. When you do, you can prove to all of YouTube that everything that person does or says is bullshit, because seriously, who needs to look down to find their trolling motor pedal? Only a loser who doesn't know anything about fishing. Hashtag it's under your foot nw merrow trays gear. If everything but the rotten reel isn't a Google Squad product, it's useless, period. Tell everyone new Merrow four hot spotting. Look really hard at the background of every bid. If you find any landmark, a rock, formation of building, a damn, a sewer treatment plant, a tree, really anything at all that could be identified by the human eye, calling a spot earner for giving away intel on your super secret spot if you legit know the spot, totally naming in the comments and add that you've been fishing there for years. If you have no idea, put them on notice by just commenting I know where you're at. When they follow your comment looking for verification, do not respond. They'll lose sleep over that ship. Hashtag burned hashtag keep them guessing Numero five Arino hashtag it if you can't find anything at all to talk about a video, which is super rare. I pull from a stack of hashtag burns, whether they fit the FID or not. Examples include hashtag bed snag and hashtag private pond, hashtag stocker, hashtag anyone can hire a guide, hashtag live bait, hashtag pet pass, hashtag skinny sprinkle them shits around man like Benjamin's in a trap video. Remember, no one reads YouTube comments or any Internet comments to feel better about themselves or humanity. The whole purpose is to remind us why we all hate each other. Comments offers a safe space where you can attack of the people without having to back any of it up with facts. Please use the comments section as God intended. Hashtag Jesus take the wheel. That's it for this week's edition of Trolling with Lands. As always, Joe and Miles, You're welcome. I'm the only thing given this lame ass podcast any Internet cred I keep doing this and sell them part of the goon Squad, which just totally happening. I meant Andrew Flair to Wendy's about a year ago. He was totally into my ship, So hashtag googn takeover. Well, uh, I mean Lance definitely said some words and I mean, I guess I think I think most of those were were words. What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Joe, I know you've you've posted a few fishing videos to YouTube couple in your past. Lance ever throw any shade your way? You know, I'd have to go back and look through the comments. But I mean, the dude so all over the place, so ubiquitous, he probably did. I I don't know if it's if his lance, but I may or may not have been the victim of a few hashtag pet bass and hashtag pet trout in my day. You know. And now that I understand that that's a strategy of internet fishing pros, I feel less hurt by them. I'm like, Oh, that guy wasn't really he was just doing his thing, you know, he was actually smart strategy. It's a strategy, it really is. So every tackle shop and fly shop you've ever been to has a sale bin, right, well, all the good ones I go to, Yeah, except most of most of the time they're just filled with junk that nobody else wants or needs. So welcome to our version of that, the digital saleban, if you will. Why did you put the hand to pay? You don't know what I'm getting, man, You didn't have to be so hurtful with me so angry. Miles and I are both devout garage sale shoppers. We love a good flea market. My my vintage tackle collection is vast, but COVID sadly has largely robbed us of the pleasure of digging through someone else's trash bare handed looking for that special something, which means I've spent a ton of time on Facebook, Marketplace, let Go, and Craigslist during this pandemic just to try and get some kind of fixed. But it's it's just not the same, man, You know what I mean? No, I mean I used to buy the vast majority of my fly time materials at garage sales because it's so cheap and and those materials are so expensive if you buy them from a store, and not to mention like, every once in a while, in doing that digging, I'd come across stashes of federally banned stuff like polar bear fur that you can't get but Joe I. I. So far, anyway, I have not been able to get into the online shopping thing. It's not the same, it doesn't bring the same satisfaction. I spend enough time staring at screens all week and I just I don't want to do that on my days off. It's not fun for me. No, I get it. And what I do is I find things that I get excited about, and I'm like, oh, man, that's the thing I'd hope to find in person someday, not in this Like, man, I would love to find that at the flea market. But most of the time I don't buy anything. But as I've been digging through these online selling platforms, you know, while you you find a gem on occasion, right, most of what you find is total trash, just the most ridiculous fishing related ship out there. And some of it is so bad that I can't help but make fun of it, Okay, And that's essentially what we're doing here. And this is great because whenever we think of it, whenever you think it will add to the comedic value, Miles and I will reach out, posing his interested buyers to engage the seller and coax out more information it's basically giving us license to jack with people. And we started doing that with a lady in Gainesville, Florida, whom threw up a post on Facebook marketplace and the title reads antique pre ninety h N. L. Leonard Rod Company Phishing Vest excellent condition. It's like, oh, that sounds cool. That's a cool vintage item to super vintage bro. But I sent this post to Miles with no further explanation to see how long it took him to figure out why this is so ridiculous. I should I should give some context that the Joe, ever since he came up with this idea, has been sending me a number of these ridiculous posts just to sell me on why this would be a great segment. And most of them are completely obvious, Like I looked at it and I go, oh, that's ridiculous. We can definitely make fun of that. But this one I really had to think about. So picture this the main photo, the primary photo that has put up online to sell This is just a close up of the tag that the tag that's sewn inside of the vest and it says H. L. Leonard Rod COO Midland Park, New Jersey, size extra large, and I didn't get it. I'm thinking, I mean, we we make fun of fishing vests on this show, we do that with some consistency, and I was thinking Joe was trying to build off of that joke, but I didn't. I didn't see how it was funny. And then I kept reading further down and there's another little tag below the main tag, and it says machine washable in mild soap at medium temperature. Do not spin, dry, tumble dry at low setting. Garment may be pressed with a warm iron. And then I kept reading down and re read the title of the post, which again is antique, at which point all the stars lined and I realized how ridiculous this is, because because there's no way in hell that are vest comes with machine washing instructions. North Tide Pods in the longer description read antiqu high quality fishing vests made in the early nineteen hundred. It's parentheses no later than or so closed parentheses one years old, and it's an absolutely excellent condition. Yeah you know why because obviously whoever bought it followed those instructions, they didn't machine washing because machine washing machines didn't exist exactly, So that is why it's museum quality. But I was like, oh man, this is so perfect, honey, you're victim number one. Gotta be So I sent a little note and I said, Hi, I collect vintage tackle, and I'm just wondering how you know this is pre Can you verify that in any way? And she fired right back and she says, I spent a lot of time trying to find that answer, but it's been a while and I can't remember at the moment. Give me a few and let me get back to you with that. And I was like, and end conversation. She's not getting back to me with that. She knows she's just been busted, and uh, end of the line for me. And dude, wouldn't you know it? Six hours later, it was like midnight. Here my phone pings and it's her, and I have to read her her follow up response in the inflection in which I feel like it would have been delivered, and said, sir, you already knew I was wrong about this, didn't you. Didn't you? And then she quickly tacked on a longer explanation to make herself not seem dumb. And it was like, last time I misunderstood I thought that because he he I guess meaning H. L. Leonard closed his business around that time, that no more products were made afterwards in his brand, which to me is like saying every four It must be because that's the year Henry Ford passed away business. He just died. The business kept going. It's just it's just a classic like Zinger Zanca. I love a good zonking, and now I'm allowed to do it because I need to tell you people about my zon Kings. It won't just be uh, you know, for not anyway, we need your help with sale bin. Okay, so if you find some bizarre, funny, downright idiotic, or for that matter, like super cool must see items for sale online locally, please please please send the link to bent at the meat Eator dot com so we can not only highlight them here but then also mess with people in your hometown via messenger. But as usual, we're gonna close out the episode with the end of the line, well it's not allowed enough. Did you know that I was in a punk band in high school that covered the theme song to Fishing with Orlando Wilson. Now you do, but not only where many pits opened up at firehouses and Legion halls across New Jersey because of Orlando. Old Orlando also taught me the power of the Zoom super fluke. Now, there are many versions of this tapered soft plastic darting gliding bait fish imitator on the market today, and what's interesting is they're all lumped together as flukes, right, much like any brand of cotton swab is called a Q tip. But only Zoom makes the original super fluke. And while I've tried countless similar baits, the O G reigns supreme for me. There's something about the density of the plastic that makes it sink quicker and wobble different than others. And I also swear it darts and cuts at sharper angles. Then similar quote flukes. Now, Orlando Wilson was fishing them on a jig head for Southern sea trout, which I adopted back in the day for weak fish and stripers. I guess we're talking late late nineties here, But in those early days, I've come to believe in the versatility of the fluke. Rigged weightless on a wide gap hook, it'll walk like a spook on the surface and get crushed as it flutters on the drop right, pinned through the nose on a small finesse hook, it'll twitch like Linden Blair with a splash of Holy water man. From snakeheads to stripe as small as to pickle. I can't think of many fish that I can't get to chew a fluke. Honestly, I never really go anywhere without at least one bag of Flukes in white. If you're salty, bubblegum mathiholate that's a good color too, But you shouldn't go anywhere without a pack of white Flukes. And I know some of you are gonna say, whoa, what about the best assassin man? What about the live target ghost tail minnow that costs eleven dollars per pack? Yeah? Those are all good. I fished those. Those are good too, They're just not as good as the original Zoom super fluke. Did you seriously do a punk cover of the theme song to Fishing with Rando Wilson? Oh my god, that's amazing. Damn right, we did, dude, And here's how it went down. I remember very clearly. We did this thing where every band member got to write down a song he wanted to cover, and we threw them in a hat and that was mine and it got picked. Eyes were rolled. But fair is fair and um the band side of creative differences a few months later and split up. No, no, no connection, I'm sure. Uh listen. I went to I don't know how many punk and hardcore shows I went to as a teenager in the nineties, usually a decommissioned naval peers for the red that's that's cool of the Legion halls. Great acoustics, man. Uh. But and I was hid, like my secret fishing addiction from my cool punk friends. So I think that's badass. And and I would have gone absolutely ape ship had one of those bands I was seeing covered the Fishing with Orlando Wilson. Themes so well done on your part. I wish you'd grown up where I did and you were at those shows, like maybe you're voicing the awesomeness of that would have kept a band together and and being would I wouldn't be here doing this ship right now. I'd be the next Blinks. Thanks for nothing. I mean, I just want the money. I don't care about their music anyway. Those were the days, and I think about them often, and I actually missed them dearly. But life moves on, and so does this podcast. That wraps up another episode. We hope you got something out of it, even if only a few minutes of fury screaming at no one about what we got wrong, anything along those lines. And if that was you, if you were the ones screaming into the void, tell us you don't have to be in void. Tell us personally. We will listen. Let us know what you liked, what you hated, what we messed up, and you know, generally, how are you doing? Send us an email bent at the meat eater dot com right on. Also, give us some stars, leave us a review, and best of all, if you like this show, tell two friends about it, then they'll tell two friends and so on. I really want to make a coronavirus Joe here, but it's it's just not that it's not that funny anymore. So I'll let it lie. Thank you for listening, and uh, you know, go fishing.